Las Vegas, Nevada.
Or "Sin City" as you may know it.
Either way, I love it.
Las Vegas has been my home for a little over the past year. It was only two weeks into my training school that my heart first bonded with this city, when the Lord showed me that I should come back. But, my love for this city didn't start in 2012. It started in 2005, when I was around 14. It was shortly after I had dedicated my life to the Lord. Shortly after I had truly been able to look into the eyes of my Daddy, my Lover, my Healer, my Jesus. I had all of these issues that I was fighting to get through, health, spiritual, habitual, mental - all sorts of downfalls and struggles. But it was as if I had just truly seen Jesus for myself, for the first time - so I was zealous. I was seeking solutions and falling in love with Jesus. One night, similar to this night, I was sitting in my bed in the wee hours of the morning. I was listening to music and writing all about my woes, when I felt the Lord breathe ideas into my mind. Ideas of a city I would once live and work in. Not just any city, there was criteria. Sex trafficking, underage run-aways, alcoholism, gambling, orphans and forgotten ones are all just a few of the things that would be large parts of the city I was headed for. My mind was narrow for years, convinced it was New York or Chicago, maybe even Savannah. I tucked this moment with the Lord, this revelation, away and packed it tightly in the back of my mind to save for myself... and honestly, forget.
But when I came to Vegas for my DTS in August of 2012, something automatically fit for me. It didn't take long for me to start asking my staff questions about what it was like to live here, to be on staff with YWAM Las Vegas, or even to start thinking about moving here. In fact, it was 2 weeks into my DTS when I started thinking about moving back, it was 2 weeks into my DTS that I remembered that night with Jesus and saw Las Vegas absolutely crawling with each criteria that I knew I was looking for.
Fast forward to the beginning of March of this year. I was helping staff for a Mission Adventures team from Ashland University. We were up on a plateau we lovingly call Sunrise Mountain. We often bring groups to this location for worship and intercession, because you can almost see every light in the valley. The strip, downtown, the surrounding suburbs - you can see it all. While we were worshiping, I was looking at my city. Overwhelmed by what all had happened since November. A crazy outreach that drained me, attaining debt to my ministry and the biggest curve ball, my 12 year old brother hanging himself, going into a coma and eventually passing away, while I was stuck in Nepal, surrounded by his language and faces that looked just like his. I began to sob standing on that mountain, thinking to myself
"WHAT HAVE I DONE?! I have removed myself from all I know. I've said goodbye to my family and put what I thought was Jesus first... and then love that I was hardly even used to yet gets ripped out of my family's life. Obviously, I've taken the wrong track!"
In that moment I felt the Lord with me SO strongly. I felt urged to step closer to the edge to get a clearer view of my home, so I did. Then the Lord breathed life back into me. He said
"Jackie, you've abandoned tradition to follow me - that's exactly what I asked of you! I know you think you should go home, but look at this city! Do you see it?! It's full of sons and daughters who are unable to sit still. Children who are unable to stay in one place long. They don't feel welcomed in my home. They're lost within themselves. They can feel love, but they can't attach themselves to it. They're wandering. You know who else was like that? Your brother. This is a city full of Deepaks and you have what it takes to shine a lamp of hope to them. Share with them your love, your hope, your joy, your light, your heart. Love them, even if they don't stick around forever."
At this point, I was simply trying to stay composed to the point where our new students didn't suspect me of insanity. But every word the Lord spoke was confirmation of the love and passion I have for this city and confirmation of everything the Lord has said 3,000 times before. This crazy, full of weird, full of orphans looking for a home, up all night, full of bad decisions, full of churches, full of Jesus, full of fellowship, full of hope, full of grace city- It's been tattooed onto my heart just as vibrantly as India has been for 17 years.
Often when I say "I LOVE Las Vegas" to someone who isn't from around here, I get a quizzical look.
But how can I deny love to a city with so much destiny over it? A city so full of dreamers? A city so full of strangers who are just like Deepak, who I long to love as my own kin. It's a beautiful thing really. It's something I wouldn't trade for the world.
That my friends, is why I'm called here. Why I stay here. Why I choose here. Well, at least that's a sliver of why I call this crazy valley home.
Or "Sin City" as you may know it.
Either way, I love it.
Las Vegas has been my home for a little over the past year. It was only two weeks into my training school that my heart first bonded with this city, when the Lord showed me that I should come back. But, my love for this city didn't start in 2012. It started in 2005, when I was around 14. It was shortly after I had dedicated my life to the Lord. Shortly after I had truly been able to look into the eyes of my Daddy, my Lover, my Healer, my Jesus. I had all of these issues that I was fighting to get through, health, spiritual, habitual, mental - all sorts of downfalls and struggles. But it was as if I had just truly seen Jesus for myself, for the first time - so I was zealous. I was seeking solutions and falling in love with Jesus. One night, similar to this night, I was sitting in my bed in the wee hours of the morning. I was listening to music and writing all about my woes, when I felt the Lord breathe ideas into my mind. Ideas of a city I would once live and work in. Not just any city, there was criteria. Sex trafficking, underage run-aways, alcoholism, gambling, orphans and forgotten ones are all just a few of the things that would be large parts of the city I was headed for. My mind was narrow for years, convinced it was New York or Chicago, maybe even Savannah. I tucked this moment with the Lord, this revelation, away and packed it tightly in the back of my mind to save for myself... and honestly, forget.
But when I came to Vegas for my DTS in August of 2012, something automatically fit for me. It didn't take long for me to start asking my staff questions about what it was like to live here, to be on staff with YWAM Las Vegas, or even to start thinking about moving here. In fact, it was 2 weeks into my DTS when I started thinking about moving back, it was 2 weeks into my DTS that I remembered that night with Jesus and saw Las Vegas absolutely crawling with each criteria that I knew I was looking for.
Fast forward to the beginning of March of this year. I was helping staff for a Mission Adventures team from Ashland University. We were up on a plateau we lovingly call Sunrise Mountain. We often bring groups to this location for worship and intercession, because you can almost see every light in the valley. The strip, downtown, the surrounding suburbs - you can see it all. While we were worshiping, I was looking at my city. Overwhelmed by what all had happened since November. A crazy outreach that drained me, attaining debt to my ministry and the biggest curve ball, my 12 year old brother hanging himself, going into a coma and eventually passing away, while I was stuck in Nepal, surrounded by his language and faces that looked just like his. I began to sob standing on that mountain, thinking to myself
"WHAT HAVE I DONE?! I have removed myself from all I know. I've said goodbye to my family and put what I thought was Jesus first... and then love that I was hardly even used to yet gets ripped out of my family's life. Obviously, I've taken the wrong track!"
In that moment I felt the Lord with me SO strongly. I felt urged to step closer to the edge to get a clearer view of my home, so I did. Then the Lord breathed life back into me. He said
"Jackie, you've abandoned tradition to follow me - that's exactly what I asked of you! I know you think you should go home, but look at this city! Do you see it?! It's full of sons and daughters who are unable to sit still. Children who are unable to stay in one place long. They don't feel welcomed in my home. They're lost within themselves. They can feel love, but they can't attach themselves to it. They're wandering. You know who else was like that? Your brother. This is a city full of Deepaks and you have what it takes to shine a lamp of hope to them. Share with them your love, your hope, your joy, your light, your heart. Love them, even if they don't stick around forever."
At this point, I was simply trying to stay composed to the point where our new students didn't suspect me of insanity. But every word the Lord spoke was confirmation of the love and passion I have for this city and confirmation of everything the Lord has said 3,000 times before. This crazy, full of weird, full of orphans looking for a home, up all night, full of bad decisions, full of churches, full of Jesus, full of fellowship, full of hope, full of grace city- It's been tattooed onto my heart just as vibrantly as India has been for 17 years.
Often when I say "I LOVE Las Vegas" to someone who isn't from around here, I get a quizzical look.
But how can I deny love to a city with so much destiny over it? A city so full of dreamers? A city so full of strangers who are just like Deepak, who I long to love as my own kin. It's a beautiful thing really. It's something I wouldn't trade for the world.
That my friends, is why I'm called here. Why I stay here. Why I choose here. Well, at least that's a sliver of why I call this crazy valley home.
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