This season. A wordy explanation.

Well, it's been a quite a while since I've updated you. I apologize, somewhere along the last month or so I've drifted into my own world and forgotten many things. This blog being one of them.

In my world, it's been allot of things one right after the other. Leading to an overwhelming time.

Isolated, loneliness, goodbye, making it, tears, blazing paths, labor pains, stuck, cooped, unavailable, unsafe, undesirable, hopeless, silent. These are but a few phrases and words that come to mind when I attempt to explain the season I'm in. This is not to say I am without joy or love in my life. I have many who surround me, who love me and do their best to keep me held up when I'm nothing but a melted puddle. 

I wish I could compare this moment in my life to a great story from scripture that could give me hope. Mary in her time of pregnancy, feeling alone, isolated, forgotten, wondering... but all the while trusting the Lord's plan above earthly proceedings. Paul, in prison, singing to praise God and pass time through the tears, silence and stuck-ness. Mary Magdalene, before encountering Christ, feeling undesirable, hopeless, unsafe and emotionally unavailable.

At this point, I can't tell if I identify with each of these stories or none of them.
I definitely am learning from Mother Teresa's story and her 6 decades of loneliness and feeling as though God has abandoned her.

No matter who I identify with right now - I've made the choice to hope, to trust, to fight. Hopelessness may have wicked teeth, but the fire that shot up in my bones 8 years ago to see freedom for women will not be torn away by wicked teeth. I will fight for love, for freedom, for hope. Not only for myself, but for my sisters.

The process of pioneering was recently described to me as this: 

It's like making scrambled eggs. You pour the raw egg into a pan, and you stir and stir and stir... and the eggs are still very much liquid. Then you stir, and stir more and they're still very much liquid. It seems as though the eggs will always be liquid. But, then, out of nowhere, they turn a corner and become solid.  Just as it is with pioneering. You put so much work into building a foundation. You work, and write, and sit behind that desk in obedience, knowing that it's part of the process. You pray, and you cry and you continue working... just to look down and realize that it feels like NOTHING has been accomplished yet. But I have hope that my corner is coming. I know it is. And Oasis, as a ministry whole, will turn the corner and suddenly things will begin to solidify. Fruit will begin to bloom on the branches I've been endlessly pruning.

Some positives that counteract the dark clouds in life are simple.

Accomplishments. Feeling as though just tiny things are being produced for Oasis. A mission statement, Vision statement, cultural values, talking about recruiting and staff training. It's good.

The mountains. I'm surrounded by beautiful mountains and I swear that when I'm in them, I can hear the earth sing praises to my King. My heart beats faster, as if I were on an adventure as I just stand and look over the beauty.

My family here in Las Vegas. My church, my community, the people who surround me and are able to hear when I am silent and breathe the life of Christ back into my lungs. The people who hug me, who see me trying not to cry and shoot me fatherly looks of love, the ones who check up on me and let me release it all and help me to come to healthy answers, the ones who deal with me gently, the ones who deal with me bluntly and the ones who ignore me when I need to be ignored. The ones who make me smile, laugh and sing when I've decided to be silent out of frustration. The ones who rush to hold up my arms the moment they realize that I'm becoming to tired to do it alone.

God's word. Meditating in the truth of Christ has been an ever flowing spring that speaks specifically to my heart and my mind when I need it most. Aligning me with the Father's heart and the truth and reality beyond what I feel.

Music. Worship, specifically. Which always has and always will understand my heart more than my words. The groans of pain are released through the process of praise.

The women. The women I see on the streets, their smiles, their "Hey Mama, it's been a while since I've seen you!"s yelled across the streets. The brokenness on their faces, but the glittering of hope in their eyes when they hear that they're loved. Brings me more hope. More life. More joy than I can express to you in a million years worth of words.

So, despite feeling as though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, His perfect love is casting out fear and driving me on not to rest here in this valley. It's tiresome work, it's sometimes isolated work but the Lord has called them worthy.

Life may be dark and clouded right now.
                                   But God has not abandoned me.

Why I hate offices sometimes

Yesterday, she rang the doorbell with tears in her eyes.
The strong aroma of fabric softener wafted from her cart of dripping clothes.
I let her into our lobby as I hugged the tears out of her eyes.
She asked only for water; I brought her water, an apple and a cereal bar.
She had just run away from the laundromat, laundry unfinished, because someone tried to buy her.


My sweet sister has a form of high functioning Autism and due to heartbreaking life circumstances growing up, not knowing how to manage her Autism, she's on the streets. The sun has fried her mind and she can't think straight anymore. She protects her self from men who would take advantage of her "disability" through physical violence. This means that lately, she's been in and out of jail for desperately hanging on to her last string of dignity the only way she knows how.

Yesterday, I hugged her until the tears stopped. My heart rose into my throat. My blood boils that she is forgotten by most.

It's the moments like these that make it hard for me to sit in an office and write a mission statement, or edit my vision statement for the 400th time. It's hugs like this that make me feel like my office is just stopping me from loving how I desire to.

I see the point. I know it's worth something to solidify these "office-y" growing a ministry things. But, I certainly struggle in the process of putting words on paper when there's so much to do in the streets.

And right now, that's where I'm at. It hurts to love so much, and to be tender to the pain. Sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I love it. But I am who I am. :) 

Friday's Word: Dreams

Dream 

1. A series of thoughts, images and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep.
2. Experience dreams during sleep.
3. Contemplate the possibility of doing something.

This past week has been a week of spending time pressing into the Lord, seeking His heart and allowing Him to lead my thoughts and heart into new territory. It's fantastic to meet with a co-worker and pray and just start writing down the strategies, plans and dreams for this ministry that will be reaching out to exploited women. This week has been allot of  conversations with Jesus about how he wants us to run this ministry, treat our staff, partner with others, reach out into the streets, etc. I cannot wait till this fall when we start fundraising and looking for buildings. Dreaming with Jesus and allowing my desires to line up with His has been a refreshing, beautiful thing that has been morphing my mind. The lyrics to a song that a friend of a friend wrote once upon a time, keeps running through my mind. "All the distractions I see, can't get their hold on me. So I fix my gaze, on your face, I fix my gaze on you!" and I am SO thankful that when I fix myself on the Lord, distractions fade away, identity and purpose is spoken over my work and dreams start coming to life!

SO, yeah... I'm sorry this isn't like my usual bit and whatnot. But, there it is. A blurb about my week. Kind of, Yeah. You know. Good stuff. haha 

Go in peace, blessings and DREAM more!

-Jackie 

Belated post: Friday's Word: FAVOR

So, this post was supposed to be done on Friday. But I was home sick Thursday and over the weekend. So, here's my belated Friday's Word.

FAVOR
Fa-vor
1. An attitude of approval or liking.
2. An act of kindness beyond what is due or usual.


This week has been about favor. The Lord is releasing new things over this ministry I'm building foundations for. Every time I reach a new task, I approach it ready to work, fight and vie for it's accomplishment. Then, the Lord just lines everything up so that it works out perfectly. This really is a time the Lord has prepared for me. His favor is pouring into my life and my ministry. Everyday I step further into absolute AWE of what the Father is doing here in Las Vegas! He's been preparing the fields for me, He's been preparing hearts, setting up relationships and preparing a way... and now the harvest time is here! I am reaping the joy and hope and blessings and favor of all the preparation many who have been before me have fought for! Guys, I don't even know how to exactly explain it. But, it's happening. Big things are happening. A storm is brewing, the awesome kind.

May justice, mercy, hope and FAVOR be yours!
-Jackie 

Friday's Word: Foundation.

foun-da-tion 
noun
  1. the lowest load-bearing part of a building, typically below ground level. 
  2. an underlying basis or principle for something.


     This week I've been learning allot about foundations. Being given the release to pursue a whole new ministry, under the umbrella of YWAM Las Vegas leaves allot of blank space to explore. Pioneering, at this stage, is difficult and it seems like not much is happening. I don't know allot about starting a ministry or how to execute a business plan to complete tasks like this. The one thing I DO know is that foundations, roots, are EVERYTHING. A firm, solid, trusted foundation is the basis for all building plans and roots are one of the most important parts of a tree. So, I'm determined to build a solid foundation. Perhaps I shall never see the fullness of this ministry I am beginning, perhaps I will never see it birthed into the world and grow. But I am pouring my blood, sweat and tears into building a foundation that will stand the test of time. I'm meeting with organizations, ministries and individuals to learn everything I possibly can about my field. Studying legislation, the details of the local law, studying the permit processes, learning victim care, community center management, etc. Sometimes, it's discouraging to be working so hard, for what seems like such a small outcome. As one of my co-workers said it, "It's a massive construction site with lots of cones and slow traffic. And from the outside, it seems like nothing is being accomplished, but everything is changing!" Luckily, I have partners, supporters, co-workers, friends and family who believe in me. Who listen to me cry about how God is good and point me in the right direction when I'm frustrated. I have a base director who's FANTASTIC at pioneering ministries and is teaching me along the way. My heart has hope.

     And when I give into the temptation of negativity, I  look up from my desk and this art is hung on the wall right out my window. It reminds me, the roots and foundation are the life-blood and strength of everything that lives, breathes and grows.

    It's worth it. These girls in this city are worth it. The spreading of the gospel is worth it. Every last moment of confusion or frustration or discouragement is worth it. The. End. 

Friday's Word : Adjustment

ad-just-ent 

noun

  - a small alteration or movement made to achieve a desired fit,

    appearance, or result. 

  - the process of adapting or becoming used to a new situation. 

     This has been a week-ish of many adjustments. Last week I moved to Las Vegas, road tripping across America with one of my best friends and now that she has returned to  In the meanwhile, I've moved in with some friends, here in Las Vegas, for the next few months. I started work this past Monday (June 1st)... Now here we are, it's Friday! I've been settling in and re-adjusting to life in Vegas, living in an apartment and now - actually having more capability and time to pour into the foundation of a new anti-trafficking ministry, through YWAM Las Vegas. As it is the time of year where our DTS' (Discipleship Training Schools) return from their international outreaches and debrief, I've dedicated a chunk of my time to helping prepare the base for their re-entry. It's a little weird being back in Vegas, working with YWAM. Almost like I'm starting over again. That's not necessarily a bad thing, though. I get to take my time and build a really strong understanding and firm foundation for ministry to exploited women in Vegas. I'm not quite sure how to wrap this up, but I'm encouraged and ready for whatever comes my way. I feel much like a race horse at the starting gate, just waiting for the moment I get to run, even just one step, closer to the dreams and visions God has placed on my heart. 

May grace and justice burn in you, 

Jackie 

The Long Awaited News.

Alright, you poor neglected blog. It's time we slap some information on the world wide interwebs for information sake, eh? Yeah. It's time. My last post was about "leaving soon" ... HA. Funny how I thought I had things figured out. As if the timing of me returning to Vegas is remotely under my control. Nope. It's kinda Jesus' choice. I'm cool with that though, ya know? haha.

So, after a few more months of waiting and praying and waiting and trying and waiting and fasting and working, I've finally come to a nice little clearing where I can make a final call. I've finally raised enough to support move back, and while I can't quite afford to live in my own place yet, I have plenty to live on the ministry base without having to fight to make ends meet. And I've decided when I'm leaving MI and hitting the road for YWAM Las Vegas.

MAY 26th!

 I have 27 days until I'm hitting the road. In the next 27 days I've got allot to do. I'm working, camping, printing support letters and sending them out, hanging out with friends for the "last time", selling my old car, getting a new one, packing up all of my stuff and heading straight for the road.

I'm BEYOND excited to head back to the city I love.

I'm thrilled that in only a month I'll be back with my ministry family, my church family and the general greatness that is my community in Las Vegas, all of whom I've missed dearly.

Even though I've been working my butt off while I've been here in MI, the Lord has been totally faithful to restore my soul, to give me rest, to restore vision and passion. It's been a struggle to see Him sometimes, it's been a fight to keep my eyes on Him... but the struggle has been worth it.

I'm ecstatic that I'm going to go back to the streets of Vegas, where I'll be able to minister in many ways with YWAM Las Vegas. I long to sit on the streets with women and hug them, talk with them, love them. A MONTH! Just a month.

There's honestly not a TON to say right now. I'm just excited.

If you would like any information on how to support me, you can contact me via e-mail at jackiejoypoole@gmail.com or on Facebook. And if you'd like a prayer card, just send me your address and let me know, and I can pop one in the mail for you!!

- Jackie Poole 

I'm on my way,

Hello Friends, 

It's time for another update. Don't you think? 

So, it's almost the end of January. Where have the last 3 months gone?! It feels like I've been here in Michigan FOREVER. While I've been home, I've been working 2 jobs and I'm just now adding a few more hours a week cleaning an office and doing henna for donations. It's been nice being able to work so much, I can totally see how the Lord has been working in my favor in the job arena. I get a fair number of hours a week and, if nothing else, I get to feel productive while I'm here waiting for the Lord to say "Return!" 

My heart. My passion... is Las Vegas! 

It is my hope to make Las Vegas home base for me. To settle into an apartment (with 2 roommates, who are awaiting my return), to re-settle back into church and find my place in the community in Las Vegas. Really taking time to invest in my city through more than just my ministry with YWAM, but investing in other ways. In friendships, churches, volunteering, etc. Las Vegas is a city that many grimace at the thought of, but somehow this city has absolutely captured my heart and God's glory dazzles me there daily. It is a city I can see myself in and hope to be in, for several years to come! 

It is my hope, my dream, my passion - to secure a steady, growing ministry that will fight human trafficking arm in arm with other local organizations and government entities. I dream of a safe house some day or something of the sorts. I truly believe that Las Vegas can be the catalyst, the example to follow for the nation in fighting human trafficking. I believe that we I can see an end to modern day slavery in my lifetime and I have committed myself to following God in fighting for justice for the voiceless until he tells me to stop. 

As of right now, I'm hoping to return to Las Vegas in the end of February - early March. The second week of March I am registered to attend a national YWAM Cities conference/think tank/meeting focused on anti-human trafficking. This conference is hosted in southern California, just 4 hours from Vegas, and will be a perfect kick-start to a new season of growing an anti-trafficking ministry within YWAM Las Vegas.

 

As you most likely know, I have procured $4,000 of debt through leading a team to India and Nepal for 2 months and due to a lack of support. Out of my $4,000 debt, I have been able to save up just over $1,000 and I hope that through working allot and the blessing of the Lord that I am able to pay off the other $3,000 and still have some left over by the end of next month. 

 

I'm not going to even be shy. :) 

I have financial great need, and I am asking you to prayerfully consider partnering with my passions and dreams through a one time donation or through a monthly commitment. I plan to work as hard as possible to pay off as much debt as I can and I also intend to move out of staff housing and into an apartment with 2 friends. While it is the more expensive option, it is the safest and the wisest for me while living in Las Vegas. This brings my monthly support needs from the base of $400 a month to approximately $800 a month.

I would greatly appreciate your help in finishing the payment of my debt and/or monthly support to help me get settled into Las Vegas as home! Your support means that I can do full time ministry in Las Vegas as I know the Lord has called me to do. Your donations help me get closer to returning to the fight against modern day slavery in Vegas.

I also greatly desire your continued prayers for wisdom, guidance, finances and a fixed vehicle. 

I thank you in advance, without you who pray and support I would not be where I am now! I would not have been able to experience that which I have already and I would not have this growing dream and fire within me to see the end of slavery in the world. Thank you for being a part of that. Thank you for following my stories, for sending prayers and for supporting me financially. It's been a ridiculous blessing to call you each a friend. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 

With that, I end. 

May peace, blessings and mercy proceed your every step. 

-Jackie