Peace:
1. Freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility.
2. Freedom from the cessation of war or violence.
>Used as a greeting.
>Used as an order to remain silent.
It's December and this means Christmas time is upon me, and while I greatly celebrate the season (and the fact that I get to celebrate with family for the first in a long time!)... "Peace" as a focused Christian theme is often saved until this time of year. "Peace on earth and goodwill towards men!" I mean, yeah, DUH, Jesus is the Prince Of Peace and all. But there's so much more to peace. Outside of Christmas, we ask for a "Peace that surpasses understanding" when someone is going through a confusing, rough, difficult or straight up crappy circumstance or "season" as we like to say. Peace is much more than a lack of war or violence, it's more than silence and tranquility, it's more than the hippie theme and it's more than a directive order.
Peace is so much more. This is me, talking about myself here, but - We do our Prince of Peace an injustice simply by remaining complacent in our simplistic and uninterested understanding of the peace He so greatly rules over. I have underestimated the power of Peace and in doing so, I've underestimated my Lord.
So, going back to that phrase we pray, "Peace that surpasses understanding!" Such an eloquent, beautiful, all encapsulating, blanket statement to pray in a hard moment. I get it, I use it ALL. THE. TIME. But not until recently did I understand what that really means in practical terms.
If you've known me for long, or read my posts and followed my travels and life events - you are well aware that my life seems to lack a certain essence of peace. My life has, over the past 2-3 years, shown a steady level of unrest and consistent disturbance. Traveling from place to place, experiencing painful loss, witnessing some of the most agonizing moments, reaching my hands into heart wrenching situations - but all the while seeing ridiculous movements of Jesus, the truest of victories and liberation, seeing the best.
This trend has followed me to my life in Michigan.
I got a job within 3 days of arriving, which is a CRAZY blessing! I LOVE where I work. Not many can say that, I know. I thought, "surely, I'll be doing well enough to pay my debt within two or three months!" I've gotten to see my friends and family who I've been separated from for far too long. I've gotten to attend not only my beloved home church, but many other in my city who are working for the greater good of the Kingdom. It seemed picturesque. Now my hours are being reduced at work. Every time I sit down to write something to one of the many friends who has supported me over my time with YWAM, my mind get's foggy and I get inexplicably frustrated, walking away with nothing accomplished. With car troubles draining my paychecks, gas being guzzled as I run around trying to figure things out, being unable to produce clear communication with those I need to communicate with and various other negative inputs... It's become a war. A Daily war to figure out what the heck is making this so hard and then trying to combat it with whatever weapons I can muster.
Then: peace.
I was walking to my car on Sunday, just a normal day in the hood. My hands were particularly cold and I was clenching them, trying to ignore the cold. For some reason I was frustrated with life. Nothing particular had happened, but the feeling of being overwhelmed hit me and I was almost in tears. When, I felt heat in my right hand. It felt as if someone was holding it. I felt the lord say, so clearly, "Jackie, stop fighting for what is already won! You're life is in my charge, not yours. The battle is mine. Stop taking up arms and walk forth in peace. You are worth that peace. You are worth the fight. You're just worth it. Despite everything, you are worthy." It's been a long time since I have felt God so present and heard Him so clearly. I had to slow down for a moment to continue the conversation. And we talked. It wasn't long, it wasn't extensive. But that moment with Him was inexplicable. Just that moment of locking eyes with my Prince, my Lord, has left my heart in peaceful shambles.
Now, this is where that phrase comes in. Physically, nothing has changed. My hours are still cut. So far, I'm still losing to frustration in writing to my supporters... everything around me is still just as unsettled. But in that conversation with Jesus, He poured a deep well of still, calm waters within me. Now, this sounds like it'd be the best thing ever, RIGHT?! Well, only kind of. haha
Me, being me... I analyze. I analyze people and their habits, their nervous ticks. I study reactions and facial expressions, accents, tones of voice, I tend to notice what makes a person's eyes sparkle and among many of my social circles I've become quite the frequent arm chair psychiatrist.
So I began to analyze this peace. It makes absolutely no sense. Nothing in life, apart from Jesus, says that I should have peace. That I should be calm. WHY?! Why does this emotion, this... deep rooted sense of almost... immortality to current circumstances exist within me. It makes no sense and even under any of the many "microscopes of analysis" I tend to use, there is no rhyme or reason. It just is. That. Drives. Me. Batty. It's a sense of crazed need for understanding. But, don't worry this peace surpasses that understanding. In fact, this peace rented a Lamborghini and sped by understanding on the freeway screaming "SEE YA LATER SUCKER!"
What do you do with this? What, I ask?
Well, you have your moments of human-ness and analysis. You try to figure it out the best you can.
Then you just sit down, shut up and enjoy the darn ride.
Peace isn't just the lack of violence or war. It's not just tranquility. It's not just when the kids finally fall asleep in their beds and you can finally crack that book you've been waiting to finish. It's not just when everyone actually get's along for more than an hour at the family Christmas celebrations. It's not just something we should talk about around Christmas. It's not just a passing theme, not something we should just glance at once in a while in wonder. It's much, much more than that.
It's being rooted. It's recognizing that your sense of control is all a ruse and God really is wanting to connect with you on that deep, true, physical and spiritual level. Peace is God's funny little creative experiment that you can only understand when you're hands on.
So, let me remind myself for a moment, again.
Stop glancing at peace in the corner of your eye. Stop choosing to recognize it politely as a stranger on the street and run as fast as you can for a huge sloppy splash into that refreshing and familiar spring. Ask for it. Seek it. Yearn for that peace. While it may drive you mad. It will drive you closer and it will keep your true sanity in tact. Don't be afraid of what you don't understand. Let down your walls of so called strength and control - Then let peace cross into your camp. And just let it be.
1. Freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility.
2. Freedom from the cessation of war or violence.
>Used as a greeting.
>Used as an order to remain silent.
It's December and this means Christmas time is upon me, and while I greatly celebrate the season (and the fact that I get to celebrate with family for the first in a long time!)... "Peace" as a focused Christian theme is often saved until this time of year. "Peace on earth and goodwill towards men!" I mean, yeah, DUH, Jesus is the Prince Of Peace and all. But there's so much more to peace. Outside of Christmas, we ask for a "Peace that surpasses understanding" when someone is going through a confusing, rough, difficult or straight up crappy circumstance or "season" as we like to say. Peace is much more than a lack of war or violence, it's more than silence and tranquility, it's more than the hippie theme and it's more than a directive order.
Peace is so much more. This is me, talking about myself here, but - We do our Prince of Peace an injustice simply by remaining complacent in our simplistic and uninterested understanding of the peace He so greatly rules over. I have underestimated the power of Peace and in doing so, I've underestimated my Lord.
So, going back to that phrase we pray, "Peace that surpasses understanding!" Such an eloquent, beautiful, all encapsulating, blanket statement to pray in a hard moment. I get it, I use it ALL. THE. TIME. But not until recently did I understand what that really means in practical terms.
If you've known me for long, or read my posts and followed my travels and life events - you are well aware that my life seems to lack a certain essence of peace. My life has, over the past 2-3 years, shown a steady level of unrest and consistent disturbance. Traveling from place to place, experiencing painful loss, witnessing some of the most agonizing moments, reaching my hands into heart wrenching situations - but all the while seeing ridiculous movements of Jesus, the truest of victories and liberation, seeing the best.
This trend has followed me to my life in Michigan.
I got a job within 3 days of arriving, which is a CRAZY blessing! I LOVE where I work. Not many can say that, I know. I thought, "surely, I'll be doing well enough to pay my debt within two or three months!" I've gotten to see my friends and family who I've been separated from for far too long. I've gotten to attend not only my beloved home church, but many other in my city who are working for the greater good of the Kingdom. It seemed picturesque. Now my hours are being reduced at work. Every time I sit down to write something to one of the many friends who has supported me over my time with YWAM, my mind get's foggy and I get inexplicably frustrated, walking away with nothing accomplished. With car troubles draining my paychecks, gas being guzzled as I run around trying to figure things out, being unable to produce clear communication with those I need to communicate with and various other negative inputs... It's become a war. A Daily war to figure out what the heck is making this so hard and then trying to combat it with whatever weapons I can muster.
Then: peace.
I was walking to my car on Sunday, just a normal day in the hood. My hands were particularly cold and I was clenching them, trying to ignore the cold. For some reason I was frustrated with life. Nothing particular had happened, but the feeling of being overwhelmed hit me and I was almost in tears. When, I felt heat in my right hand. It felt as if someone was holding it. I felt the lord say, so clearly, "Jackie, stop fighting for what is already won! You're life is in my charge, not yours. The battle is mine. Stop taking up arms and walk forth in peace. You are worth that peace. You are worth the fight. You're just worth it. Despite everything, you are worthy." It's been a long time since I have felt God so present and heard Him so clearly. I had to slow down for a moment to continue the conversation. And we talked. It wasn't long, it wasn't extensive. But that moment with Him was inexplicable. Just that moment of locking eyes with my Prince, my Lord, has left my heart in peaceful shambles.
Now, this is where that phrase comes in. Physically, nothing has changed. My hours are still cut. So far, I'm still losing to frustration in writing to my supporters... everything around me is still just as unsettled. But in that conversation with Jesus, He poured a deep well of still, calm waters within me. Now, this sounds like it'd be the best thing ever, RIGHT?! Well, only kind of. haha
Me, being me... I analyze. I analyze people and their habits, their nervous ticks. I study reactions and facial expressions, accents, tones of voice, I tend to notice what makes a person's eyes sparkle and among many of my social circles I've become quite the frequent arm chair psychiatrist.
So I began to analyze this peace. It makes absolutely no sense. Nothing in life, apart from Jesus, says that I should have peace. That I should be calm. WHY?! Why does this emotion, this... deep rooted sense of almost... immortality to current circumstances exist within me. It makes no sense and even under any of the many "microscopes of analysis" I tend to use, there is no rhyme or reason. It just is. That. Drives. Me. Batty. It's a sense of crazed need for understanding. But, don't worry this peace surpasses that understanding. In fact, this peace rented a Lamborghini and sped by understanding on the freeway screaming "SEE YA LATER SUCKER!"
What do you do with this? What, I ask?
Well, you have your moments of human-ness and analysis. You try to figure it out the best you can.
Then you just sit down, shut up and enjoy the darn ride.
Peace isn't just the lack of violence or war. It's not just tranquility. It's not just when the kids finally fall asleep in their beds and you can finally crack that book you've been waiting to finish. It's not just when everyone actually get's along for more than an hour at the family Christmas celebrations. It's not just something we should talk about around Christmas. It's not just a passing theme, not something we should just glance at once in a while in wonder. It's much, much more than that.
It's being rooted. It's recognizing that your sense of control is all a ruse and God really is wanting to connect with you on that deep, true, physical and spiritual level. Peace is God's funny little creative experiment that you can only understand when you're hands on.
So, let me remind myself for a moment, again.
Stop glancing at peace in the corner of your eye. Stop choosing to recognize it politely as a stranger on the street and run as fast as you can for a huge sloppy splash into that refreshing and familiar spring. Ask for it. Seek it. Yearn for that peace. While it may drive you mad. It will drive you closer and it will keep your true sanity in tact. Don't be afraid of what you don't understand. Let down your walls of so called strength and control - Then let peace cross into your camp. And just let it be.
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