Fully Adopted.

[Adopted]
1. Legally take another's child and bring it up as one's own.
2. Take up or start to use or follow (an idea, method, or course of action)

     Since I've moved to Las Vegas, the Lord has been after my heart hard core. During my Discipleship Training School, I thought that I had gained an understanding of the difference between having an orphaned heart and having an adopted one. Turns out, those 5 months were just the tip of the iceberg of things God had to show me about this.

     Turns out, I've lived most of my life as an orphan. Now, don't get me wrong - my parents have always loved me and supported me in the best of times and the worst of times. But I allowed the devil to speak identity into me and I allowed him to to declare my worth. Worst part? I believed him. I used to believe that what other's thought of me was important and worth worrying about. I had a fear of man that controlled me. I believed that I not only could I disappoint God, but I did so frequently. I felt that just by being myself that I was more of a liability for God's kingdom than an asset, let alone a royal. These, among others, were the lies I held so tightly to. The lies that I said my morals and self worth were based on. 

     It's now been a year since I began my DTS and God has been drilling into me this entire time about how I am not only in His kingdom, but an adopted princess, a chosen royal, an authority in this world. I've been researching online, reading books and receiving council on what being an adopted royal means. And I'd love to say that it's an easy transition from a beggar in the courtyard to a princess in the palace. But the honest truth is that it's been a constant struggle.

     Sometimes I still think that God is disappointed in my performance because other people are.  Sometimes I still think that if I don't constantly serve Him and if I ever say "No" that I'm letting Him down and not doing my job. I still find myself insignificant. I still struggle with thinking that my skills and talents aren't worth half a penny or anybody's time. The truth is that God is always proudly cheering me on, proud of who I am and what I do, He says it's okay to say "No", because rest is important. God declares me significant, talented, skilled and qualified to serve Him in the positions I've been put in, no matter how comfortable that leaves me. 

     All this to say, I'm still learning. Daily I find myself enamored with who God is and just how deep His love and adoption is for me. There is nothing he keeps from me as an adopted child, no privileges that I don't get. He puts it all on the table. He gives it all. He accepts it all. 

     For some this may be the most basic of ideas. But to me, it takes allot to sink in. It's still not fully absorbed. I constantly question things, but I constantly hear the Lord say "I am your daddy and I keep no good thing from you!" and "I am your daddy, find comfort in my love." I think so much of my life I've focused on Jesus as my lover, but now I'm starting to see Him as a Daddy too. A poppa that never fails, that never forgets, that is always there, that never expects a performance. A daddy whose arms I can crawl into and sing with for hours.

     Perhaps this blog post is pointless to most, but to me... it's everything. I've just been so enraptured by how deep it all is. God is so good, so Holy, so worthy. He is SO WORTHY of it all. I am amazed by how truly good and worthy He is. I could ramble about it for days. I could type about it for months. Guys, I AM FULLY ADOPTED. I'm not a half child of Jesus. I'm a full royal. Drenched in the Father's love. I'm still learning what all that means, but it's a glorious adventure.

     The more I understand all of this, the more I understand why the entire world needs to hear about all of this. The streets of Las Vegas, the streets of Nevada, the streets of this nation, the streets of the world are full of sons and daughters of Christ who could have suffered the lies of the Devil telling them that they're never going to be good enough for God's love. That they're not worthy. 

But they are good enough and they are worthy, thanks to Jesus. 

I want to tell them all about my Daddy and how good He is. 

That is all... for now. 

-Jackie