Coffee Date: The catch up post

So, last week I failed at blogging. In my defense, allergies hit me like I ran into a wall and then it so kindly turned into a cold. I coughed so much I'm pretty sure I have abs now. Anyways, when I'm sick I am a pathetic human being. I can't make decisions, I'm grumpy, I refuse to take medication and when I finally do take it, the result is allot of stupid things coming out of my mouth. Once, I sang "You're gonna love me" for 20 minutes straight while walking up and down my stairs... My point being, I was in no shape to post something that could be on the interwebs forever. Just not going to happen. However, I do apologize to anyone who reads regularly (HA regular readers, what wishful thinking!).

In other news:
I'm getting very discouraged. I am currently doing weight watchers and a member of a gym... I want to lose weight. Not because I want to be skinny, but because I want to be at my best for the Lord's service. Health is my ultimate goal and I know that includes me losing weight. I generally shy away from this subject on my blog because it may be easy to delete a rude comment and ignore interweb haters, but it's not at all easy to know the potential of the people who surround you "finding out" and then being constantly interested in your goals and achievements in this area. Weight and health is a REALLY hard area for me to just be honest and open about. I'm always terrified that I'll get comments like "Finally, I've been hoping you would shed some pounds for a long time!" or "Yay, you're finally getting skinny." those are not at all uplifting comments. Even as I type I'm thinking of a list of people I hope never ever read this post.

I've been doing weight watchers for 3(?) weeks and so far I've lost around 6lbs total. I'm absolutely devastated. I was expecting more. Not like, "Oh it's been 3 weeks, I'm a size 2 now, right?" But I expected more than 6 stinking pounds! UGH! I feel like I've failed. The first thing that entered my mind was "So, even when i'm trying to lose weight, I'm just gonna be fat? Great... thanks life!" I mean, I am nowhere near giving up. I'm actually planning my trip to the gym tomorrow and what I would like to do while there. So, i'm not done just because i'm discouraged... it's just so hard!

Let's be honest, nobody LIKES getting all sweaty and eating a heaping helping of lettuce all day. If you say differently, I would point out that you like the outcome not the practice. :) When you're schedule consists of school 2 days a week, work 3 days a week, fit bible study, studying, practicing and all of life's little errands in there somewhere... it's just not the most exciting thing to go to the gym! Obviously, I'm not yet at the point where going to the gym is a relaxing time for me. I hope to get there soon. Like tomorrow. haha... so not happening.

All this to say, I would appreciate prayer. I am trying to improve my health and quality of life and when I feel like there are absolutely no results... it's hard to keep going. It's so hard to just say "Okay, I am doing this so I can achieve my dreams. So that I can live a healthier life with less constrictions. So that I can serve God more and better (more better?). So that I can like my clothes. Everything is worth it." I feel like it's not been worth it at all.

I officially feel like I've been open enough for today's post. :P

I'll leave you with this:
"Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." - Psalm 143:8 [I want to memorize this and quote it every morning when I wake up. Something worthy of thinking about with my first thoughts.]

Peace and favor,
Jackie