Just A Little Rant About Self Image: Part 2

Okay, If you've not read part 1 to this you may want to take a few minutes to do this. I'll even make it super easy and give you a link to my own blog, which you are currently on. http://jackiepoole.blogspot.com/2011/06/just-little-rant-about-self-image.html Ahead of time, I want to apologize for both that post and this one. Something has been messed up with the html or something with the website and I am unable to add seperate paragraphs. When I write it, they're there and then they dissapear when I post. So, I apologize for the poor formatting. I'm trying to figure out how to fix it. So, in part one I talked to the girls about how verbalizing their dislikes about themselves is an extremely harmful act. Again, not to say having insecurities in self image is abnormal or negative, but talking about it constantly is. In the short time since I posted the rant I actually have received allot of feedback, which I am not at all used to. After some tough thinking I've decided to adress the men. That's right. If you're a male, this is written for you. Men, you play a large role in a woman's self confidence. If you have a mother, a sister, a lady you are dating or just female friends you are playing a part in their self image. Allot of people think that if they aren't insulting someone that their actions don't make a difference. Well, I'm sorry but this thought is quite incorrect. Everytime you talk to one of your girlfriends about how you think Selena Gomez is fantastic and why, this young lady you are with is thinking "Well, I don't measure up!" It has nothing to do with whether or not she is interested in you as more than a friend or if she thinks you're cute. It's just our built in need to compare ourselves with others who are veiwed as beautiful. It's unfortunate, but it's true. So gentlemen, when you are oogling, gandering... maybe even lusting after different women who are so called "Beautiful" you are sending a clear message to the women around you, whether or not you mean to. Say you're walking through the mall and you break contact with your date to look at the half (or perhaps less) dressed girl in the victoria's secret poster. Yeah, she see's that. She knows that you're looking at her body, it's inevitable and we've been taught to accept it as something that you (the men in our lives) cannot control. Though some women act like this doesn't bother them, it bothers me and I'm not gonna lie about it. I think you can control it. If I can learn to wear more modest clothing for your sake, do you think your could even consider controling your eyes for mine?! Yeah, I know that once you see certain things that thoughts become less controllable. However, I happen to know from experience that you can avoid some imagry to a degree. I have a guy friend (Of whom I am VERY proud to call friend and who gives me hope for young men regularly) who will deliberately look at something on the opposite side of the hallway anytime we walk by a victorias secret. We let him know when we've passed, and the conversation continues. It takes purposed thought and inentional avoidance. It doesn't just HAPPEN to not see this things. Locker room talk has become a disgusting habbit for many men as well. The Locker room is NOT where you get to talk about the uggliest chick around and whatnot. Recently a Pilot who was stupid enough to not realize his every word was being broadcasted to the control tower began talking about how he hated some people and the number of people he had slept with. He could have lost his job. It's not good for anyone and you need to be careful of your words anyways. "Actions are louder than words"... um, yeah but words still mean ALLOT! I regret to inform you that we have all become pawns in a game. Somehow we've forgotten that we're not meant to play the game the world sets up, but now we've been caught in the middle. The media of our nation WANT women to feel insecure, men to buy into the constant sexual imagry and prideful nature. All things that hurt relatinoships with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Everytime a man is caught taking a prolonged gander at these posters or commercails or everytime a girl looks at the latest clothing, cosmetic or popular item and she thinks "Wow, I NEED" that we are being played. We're being told we're not good enough if we don't. It's not okay. So, gentlemen: No, it is not at all your responsibility for us women to feel good about ourselves. However, there are 3 things you can do to improve the situation. 1) Show that you desire and are trying not to buy into the stupidity of modern sexual imagry. Yeah, we all get caught in the game - but effort means allot. 2) "Locker room talk" Just don't. 3) Take the time to make sure the women around you know that they are appreciated. It doesn't need to be a physical compliment. Let your mom know you appreciate her seeking God while raising you. Tell your girlfriend that you love the weird jokes she makes. Tell your friends that they are really good at something they love to do. Don't lie, we know when you're lying. So, I guess this is really all I have to say about this for now. It might be a little miscombobulated when it comes to organization but it was on my mind. So, I thought i'd post it. Thanks for reading.