Learning Love: A jumbled post of stuff.

Love. 

It's a basic subject in conversation in the lives of most Christians. "Love your neighbors", "Love as Christ loves", "How he LOVES us!". Then we, ever so affectionately, role our eyes at each individual who pipes up with the notion that we should love ourselves. "Let's not become infatuated with pride now." 

I don't know. Maybe this is just me. Maybe I'm the only one who, until recently, believed with my whole being that to love and accept myself for who I am, to be proud of my gifts and my character and to have self respect enough beyond what protects my moral compass would just be sinful. I've always been the one to give a long eye-roll to anyone who rudely or lovingly pointed out that I didn't accept myself enough or that I was worth anything. 

But, I've begun to realize that thinking so LITTLE of yourself is absolutely NO BETTER than thinking too MUCH of yourself. With pride, generally, one thinks they are too good for lowly tasks or medial things. When I think too little of myself, I cut the community around me off, not allowing them to help me when needed. I cut people off from pouring into me or encouraging me, because I don't believe I'm worth their time. I don't do bold things, because, who cares if I fade away into the background. I question my call, because, why would God call me to do something of meaning, something big, when I'm just so messed up?!

Well, all this to say... I've been learning. 

Thanks to people in my life, situations that have forced me out of my lowly comfort zone and a whole lot of Jesus... I am learning that I am worthy of love. There is never reason for me to settle. It's okay for me to have a good, steady job to pay the bills. It's okay for me to have a good car, and spend money on it when it needs fixes. It's okay for me to be comfortable in my own skin. 

I've realized, ever since I've stepped back from ministry for this season, that I have utilized missions as a mask. I have selfishly used missions to solidify my worth. If I am in missions, if I am in ministry, if I am constantly working for the kingdom, making sacrifices, living in a rough neighborhood, enduring the pain of losing family members while I am abroad, then, only THEN I am someone worth while, right?! 

I was so, so wrong. I've spent allot of time studying the orphaned heart vs. the heart of Son-ship. Yet, I never addressed my own lack of self worth. So I stuck myself in a viscous cycle. Oh gosh. I don't know how to best verbalize everything flying through my head right now. 

I'm learning to just be who I am, without regrets. Without self-judgement. I have dreads, because i like them. I dyed my hair red, because I liked it. I pierced my lip because, why not?! I'm stretching my ears, who cares? I never really have fit into a mold anywhoo, I just used to care what people thought about it more. I had just perfected the art of appearing confident. This is not to say that I am okay with complacency. Because I'm not. I will constantly seek to better myself through the molding hands of Christ. I will constantly seek to be more like Him, because God knows I have a long way to go before I'm a complete creation. But, this doesn't mean that I have to belittle myself in my own mind along the way. 

I have messy, frizzy hair. I have freckles all over my shoulders. I have big hands. I have big feet. I'm overweight. I laugh too loud. I get angry when people don't give me a chance to explain myself. I swear too much. I yell at other cars while I'm driving. I'm not the best at keeping a proper budget. I dislike peanut butter, allot. I don't fit the missionary "look" that people expect. I don't drink enough water. I sometimes have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when I should. I am ever fearful of failure. I am terrified of stages, even though I trained for them. I get angry when people make ignorant comments about India and Nepal, or anyone from those areas. I allow my heart for Justice to become a bit more than just "indignant". 

But I also: I'm willing to sacrifice allot to help others, I love more and more openly, I think allot of people are funny, I can be very encouraging, I accept all sorts of people into my chosen family, I'm willing to do radical things for obedience, I love traveling, I love having stability, I have awesome friends, I can sing well,... I have a good life. 

But you know what? I'm a work in progress. Still worthy of love. I have faults, I have things I don't like. But I'm learning to love myself. And that's an okay thing. It's not the end of the world. It's not sinful. It's not wrong, or arrogant to realize that maybe, just maybe... I'm worth more than I thought I was. 

So, all of these jumbled thoughts to say... I'm learning love. Which is oddly enough helping me learn to love others more, as well. 

I guess it's kind of an important thing, eh? 

Jackie

My Heart: Only a sliver of why I love Las Vegas.

Las Vegas, Nevada.
Or "Sin City" as you may know it.
Either way, I love it.

    Las Vegas has been my home for a little over the past year. It was only two weeks into my training school that my heart first bonded with this city, when the Lord showed me that I should come back. But, my love for this city didn't start in 2012. It started in 2005, when I was around 14. It was shortly after I had dedicated my life to the Lord. Shortly after I had truly been able to look into the eyes of my Daddy, my Lover, my Healer, my Jesus. I had all of these issues that I was fighting to get through, health, spiritual, habitual, mental - all sorts of downfalls and struggles. But it was as if I had just truly seen Jesus for myself, for the first time - so I was zealous. I was seeking solutions and falling in love with Jesus. One night, similar to this night, I was sitting in my bed in the wee hours of the morning. I was listening to music and writing all about my woes, when I felt the Lord breathe ideas into my mind. Ideas of a city I would once live and work in. Not just any city, there was criteria. Sex trafficking, underage run-aways, alcoholism, gambling, orphans and forgotten ones are all just a few of the things that would be large parts of the city I was headed for. My mind was narrow for years, convinced it was New York or Chicago, maybe even Savannah. I tucked this moment with the Lord, this revelation, away and packed it tightly in the back of my mind to save for myself... and honestly, forget.

      But when I came to Vegas for my DTS in August of 2012, something automatically fit for me. It didn't take long for me to start asking my staff questions about what it was like to live here, to be on staff with YWAM Las Vegas, or even to start thinking about moving here. In fact, it was 2 weeks into my DTS when I started thinking about moving back, it was 2 weeks into my DTS that I remembered that night with Jesus and saw Las Vegas absolutely crawling with each criteria that I knew I was looking for.

Fast forward to the beginning of March of this year. I was helping staff for a Mission Adventures team from Ashland University. We were up on a plateau we lovingly call Sunrise Mountain. We often bring groups to this location for worship and intercession, because you can almost see every light in the valley. The strip, downtown, the surrounding suburbs - you can see it all. While we were worshiping, I was looking at my city. Overwhelmed by what all had happened since November. A crazy outreach that drained me, attaining debt to my ministry and the biggest curve ball, my 12 year old brother hanging himself, going into a coma and eventually passing away, while I was stuck in Nepal, surrounded by his language and faces that looked just like his. I began to sob standing on that mountain, thinking to myself

"WHAT HAVE I DONE?! I have removed myself from all I know. I've said goodbye to my family and put what I thought was Jesus first... and then love that I was hardly even used to yet gets ripped out of my family's life. Obviously, I've taken the wrong track!"

In that moment I felt the Lord with me SO strongly. I felt urged to step closer to the edge to get a clearer view of my home, so I did. Then the Lord breathed life back into me. He said

"Jackie, you've abandoned tradition to follow me - that's exactly what I asked of you! I know you think you should go home, but look at this city! Do you see it?! It's full of sons and daughters who are unable to sit still. Children who are unable to stay in one place long. They don't feel welcomed in my home. They're lost within themselves. They can feel love, but they can't attach themselves to it. They're wandering. You know who else was like that? Your brother. This is a city full of Deepaks and you have what it takes to shine a lamp of hope to them. Share with them your love, your hope, your joy, your light, your heart. Love them, even if they don't stick around forever." 

At this point, I was simply trying to stay composed to the point where our new students didn't suspect me of insanity. But every word the Lord spoke was confirmation of the love and passion I have for this city and confirmation of everything the Lord has said 3,000 times before. This crazy, full of weird, full of orphans looking for a home, up all night, full of bad decisions, full of churches, full of Jesus, full of fellowship, full of hope, full of grace city- It's been tattooed onto my heart just as vibrantly as India has been for 17 years.

Often when I say "I LOVE Las Vegas" to someone who isn't from around here, I get a quizzical look.
But how can I deny love to a city with so much destiny over it? A city so full of dreamers? A city so full of strangers who are just like Deepak, who I long to love as my own kin. It's a beautiful thing really. It's something I wouldn't trade for the world.

That my friends, is why I'm called here. Why I stay here. Why I choose here. Well, at least that's a sliver of why I call this crazy valley home.

#MyHairDon'tCare

Long time no see friends. 

Let's just get something out in the open - I have newly acquired dreadlocks. 

I know that not everyone will like them. Not everyone will think I made a good decision.  

So, let's get down to WHY I chose dreadlocks. 

I have loved how dreadlocks have looked for ages. I've always wanted them, but never thought I'd look good with them and I fell subject to believing the lies of how they're dirty and no one will accept me. 

Over the past month or so, Jesus has started talking to me about caring too much about other's opinions. 

Far too often I am controlled by other's opinions about what I do, who I am and how I look. If you were unaware of this aspect of my thought process, don't feel left out. I've become a pro at portraying confidence and a certain attitude of "I don't give a crap what you think about me!" I've trained myself not to let people know I care, because I trained myself that sensitivity and having feelings were both negative character traits. 

I'm good at being the first one to break the box, be weird, act awkwardly, speak out, laugh loudly and getting other people to be "proud of their weird" as I tend to think. I hate seeing people bound by what is "cool" when there is so much unique creativity and personality they have to let loose. All the while, I sit there and think about how my loud laugh bothers people, How my stories are annoying,  How I didn't dress appropriately for the outing, etc. I've watched myself care far too much about what people think of me. I'm done.

After years of straightening, I finally decided over the past 3 years to let my hair go naturally curly again. People loved it. My nice curly hair became the one thing I could count on making me pleasant and acceptable to people. My permanent acceptance letter to any social occasion or group of people. Pathetic, Right? 

Well, Jesus started talking to me about my hair. He said "Does it really matter?" No, of course it doesn't REALLY matter, in the Kingdom perspective of life. "Do you really think you'll be turned away?" A little bit. 

"Jackie, Get dreadlocks. I want to see you not care about any opinion but mine!" But that's terrifying. 

"You use that word too much." ... "You like dreads, you should get them. Who cares what they'll say!" 

So, I made the plan, I watched endless hours of tutorials, maintenance and care videos. I made one of my roommates watch a bunch too. So I set the date. 

This past Monday and Tuesday night we worked on them for hours! They're frizzy and new, but I love them already. I'm excited for the adventure that is before me. 

And just to be trendy. #dreadhairdontcare 

Yep. 

Post Coming Soon!

New Post Coming soon!

I'm so sorry that I haven't updated since my return from India and Nepal! Look for an updated in the next two weeks!!

Fundraising...

fundraising

1. (fundraise) fund-raise: raise money for a cause or project; "We are fundraising for AIDS research"

Hello Friends, 

It's come that time of year again where I get to raise funds to head off to India again! 

If you read my last post, you read all about how God is calling me to go back to India and Nepal for 2 months with the DTS. The 4 students we have, all female, and I will be heading off in mid-November to go see that part of the world and share Jesus with them! 

We'll be spending time in Mumbai, Agra and LuckNow while in India and then Kathmandu and some surrounding villages in Nepal. We'll be focusing on loving people to Christ through relationships and anti-human trafficking work. We're partnering with several different ministries as we travel, which will ideally help us get more hands on in the anti-trafficking arena. Since we are still in planning stages, some things are still up in the air or without complete detail for me to share. But, providing I get the funds I will be able to continue sewing into my heart and vision for India and Nepal as well as continue combating human trafficking through whatever alleys we can use. I am personally SO excited that I get to go with these awesome students! It's seriously an honor and a blessing. 

Last year, in India, I was able to connect with a 16 year old girl. This girl loves Jesus but due to an alcoholic and abusive father - she was never able to go to Christian church, only Hindu temple. Her dad was using her for profit and her mom shed tears for the crap hole of a life she had to give her daughter. While in hell, this woman of God had strong joy! I was able to continue to encourage her in her faith, promise hope through Jesus Christ and hold her in times of tears. I firmly believe that God put me in India for such a time as that. To wipe her tears, to comfort her and to be the tangible hands of Jesus loving her despite her circumstances. There were moments where I was mocked by people in the village, but this girl was much more important. 

It's stories like that, that make me excited to return to India and extend my travels to Nepal. A fire burns deep in my bones for Nepal and India. I so desire to carry the torch of Joy, Hope, Peace and Love. To touch the untouchables, to get down in the dirt and look straight into the eyes of evil and declare the truth of Jesus Christ and all He has done, is doing and will continue to do! 

Basically, I'm a little in love with India. The culture. The food. The music. The clothes. The colors. The people. THE PEOPLE. The opportunities. The language. The smells. The horrid smells. The scenery. And more. 

So, what I'm asking is for you to invest in me and my calling by supporting me financially. While my normal monthly support will go towards my travel expenses while I am abroad, I still have more I need to raise. 

I have around $2,000 that I need in order to go. So, anything that you are able to give is a HUGE help and blessing! If you are unable to contribute financially, please consider partnering with me in prayer for the wonderful students and myself as we travel and spread hope! 

I hope that you would take a moment and pray and ask God about sewing into my calling of touching the untouchables through India with hope and the Gospel, through prayer and financial gifts! For more information about how to donate or get on an e-mail list for prayer updates you can message me on FB or e-mail me @ jackiejoypoole@gmail.com 

Thank you so much for reading my blog and being interested in my life, 

blessings,

Jackie 

What I thought Jonah taught me...

Sun-day school 

nounL Sunday school, Plural noun: Sunday Schools

1. a class held on Sunday's to teach children about their religion. 

2. a group gathering of children to be educated by the more spiritually advanced. 

3. Indoctrination.

4. a time for hear the same story over and over again, so that billy can really soak up the lesson about honoring his parents, because he's been a real brat lately! 

**Okay, okay ... So, I may have edited the definition... but only a little!**

Hello Friends, 

So, Jonah. This self centered, disobedient, son of a gun. As children in Sunday school, we're practically taught to despise him and all he stands dor. HE runs away from Gods clear word. He spends 3 says in a fish, whale, monster... whatever. FINALLY, he goes to Nineveh but he still throws a fit because God doesn't pour His rage on the city. So, Jonah crawls out of the city and continues throwing his massive, self pitying- FIT!

Basic stuff, right?! 

Well, I always took from this lesson "If you disobey God, drastic things will happen!" I always assumed that if I was ignoring the call of God that some huge, depressing, frightening thing would happen. Yes, yes... I know about God's father heart. But I guess I just had the rooted doubt of : What if I chose to willingly walk away from His call and His fatherhood?? Wouldn't I wither and die? Wouldn't I be unable to worship with clear conscience, wouldn't I be running from wild beasts? Obviously, I would be in line for punishment. This is obviously the message of Jonah! Well, that's what I heard as a kid... and what I was content to believe throughout most of my life. 

The thing is... part way through this summer I was asked to go on outreach with our current Discipleship Training School. My immediate answer was "NO WAY!" I wanted to come home for Christmas, I wanted to see my sister Joanna (who I haven't seen for almost 2 years due to our missionary lives). Plus, for some reason I "FELT" like I wasn't supposed to leave the country in 2013. When I said no, I seriously thought I was following God's will. I mean, however creative God can be... he is also logical. Right?! And, it's only logical that I get to see my friend, go home for Christmas and pretend to live a normal life for at least a small portion of time... that's just the average American dream, isn't it?!

Turns out, after 5 times of saying "NO!" to India and Nepal (the countries my heart longs for!) I was wrong. After I started saying no, a really crappy attitude started creeping in. It slowly made each day worse than the one before. Not just clumsy, things broke kind of bad... but honestly questioning all of life BAD. But it was gradual. I was convinced that it was a combination of outside stresses that was making my life so difficult. Oh how easy it would have been for it to be something else's fault!I felt a constant nagging in my spirit, but I didn't know what for... honestly, I'm not sure I was willing to ask what it was all about.  After the summer I came home (to Michigan!) for vacation and I felt a complete escape from this nagging! I was with friends who loved me, family who loved me, people who missed me...  the nagging seemed to be gone - normal life! As each day passed I dreaded returning to Las Vegas. Even though the nagging had just been covered up by exciting and relaxing times at home, I didn't want to return to the wordless nagging that was to come with returning. I didn't want to face people. I didn't want to go back to those bad, bad days. I was wanted to run away from it all... even though I completely honor the commitment I have made to YWAM Las Vegas far to much to break it!

The same day I returned from vacation, Cathy sat me down and told me they'd be asking me about outreach one. last. time. She told me some things about the students and how she loved them, she told me about a few decisions they had made about outreach... and something strange was happening as I listened - my soul was stirred. My heart was aching for India and Nepal again. I was desperately confused. WHAT DID THIS MEAN?!

I wrestled with God the whole night. I barely slept, I just laid in bed with a few tears flooding my eyes. Why was I moved by the thought of going on outreach? WHY WAS I CONSIDERING IT?! The next evening I went to church with one of me co-workers, it was just a simple worship service. As we started singing, as I started to put my heart into a place of gratitude and openness to God - I was immediately WRECKED. Absolutely, with out a doubt --WRECKED --. Jesus was speaking to me, SO CLEARLY. He asked me why I was mad. He asked my why I said no. He asked me why I thought he was telling me to stay when His word so clearly says GO!

So, I told Him. I told Him I was angry because I wanted to go home. Because I wanted to see my family. Because I wanted to experience Christmas with my family again, He reminded me that I spent the entire summer encouraging summer staff and students alike to take on real, authentic discipleship and make the sacrifice to follow and I wasn't acting like I was willing. "Jackie, aren't you willing to give this up for me? Aren't you willing to tell your family in India about me? Jackie - I created you for this." The questions clouded my head as I sobbed. Yes, I sobbed.

I told Him all about how I didn't feel equipped, supported, ready or released to go on outreach with the DTS. He told me that it all was going to be perfectly alright. Its not my strength, but His. I was feeling a little too vulnerable - So, since I was feeling really vulnerable with God I felt the need to distract myself (which is a normal practice for me when being overly vulnerable). So, I looked at my phone... my mom had called. I stepped outside and called her back and essentially she told me that I was being stupid for not going. That part of being a missionary is saying goodbye to my father, my mother and turn my back on any other lover and press on. She told me I was RELEASED from any sort of pressure from her, dad or anyone else to come home for Christmas. She told me she blessed me. She encouraged me. She told me to go and retrieve my lost sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers and children across the world. Again... the sobbing came into play. {Side note: I swear, before DTS I was NOT a cryer!!} 

After that Sunday night, I knew what I had to do. I had to Go. I had to waste my life on Jesus because that is truly never a waste. I felt like Jonah, I felt like I had run away from God's call. But what I realized as I thought through Jonah's life is that no matter how big of a fit I throw, no matter how much I toy with the idea of not obeying... His mercy is new every morning. I thought I would be consumed by beasts, but I was consumed by His love and grace! I thought I would be shamed and snickered at, but I am supported and encouraged. My bad, bad days - got better. I can see colors more vibrantly, I hear His voice more clearly - the nagging is gone.

So, November - January I'm hopping on a plane with  beautiful women after Jesus and we're going to set the captives free, to do justice, love mercy, walk humbly and serve Jesus however we can throughout northern India and Nepal!

God has a funny way of always loving me. 

Sometimes, I'm still not sure I'm worth it. But my Daddy always lifts my head to look at His face and speaks truth to me through the lies I've allowed to speak. He is always full of grace. Always loving. He's always given me a second chance when I'm being stubborn and not listening to Him. 

Being a daughter of the true King is a wonderful, wonderful thing!

Blessings, 

- Jackie 

Housekeeping...

Hello Friends,

     I hate cleaning. For those of you who have known me over the years, you can agree with that statement. It's not that I'm unwilling, most of the time. I'm generally willing to help clean up messes, especially outside of my own home. But, when it gets to working at home or cleaning my room... forget it! Let's not even get into organization skills... I always have the desire, but never the motivation or know how.

     When I came on staff here in Vegas, I became head of our housekeeping and hospitality department. Talk about a shocker. My first month or so on staff here I felt nothing but inadequate for the job at hand. Who was I to be in charge of cleaning a base that, over the summer, would host over 60 people at a time?! Who was I that even though I've always struggled with any sort of organization or motivation to clean my own spaces was left to make sure that this building was well kept and stewarded well? I remember sitting at my desk almost daily, with my head in my hands thinking "Daddy, I don't know how to do these things! How do I even start?! Jesus, give me grace!!"

     It was a stressful time, to say the least. But what I forgot is that God not only qualifies us for what we're doing when we serve Him through our adopted authority, but he gives us what we need to accomplish the practical tasks before us. Since I've started working on the hospitality and housekeeping I've created a calendar for all of our guests that stay on base (students, teams, guests, speakers, etc.), I've recently organized the janitors closet so is more functional, i'm getting deep cleaning projects done and the most miraculous part of it all? I'm enjoying it. If you're my friend on facebook you've probably seen that I've even made a video of celebration after organizing the closet. It's something that I enjoy now.

    Will I enjoy it forever? Probably not. But I'm confident that while I'm here, serving in this way, I will be given the grace to enjoy how I serve Jesus. I will be able to live in Joy that even things like mopping floors and scrubbing upholstery is a blessing to the ministry here in Las Vegas. I can move forward knowing that while my solutions and organization may not be perfect, I'm doing my best to improve anything I can.

     I think I used to question that God gave situation specific grace to people. But, now I'm truly proof. He didn't just give me mercy in this situation. He's not jut giving me enough to barely scrape by, but he's giving me above and beyond what is necessary to complete my tasks. I'm not just able to do what I must, I'm happy about it. And while I have my down days, where I don't feel like even thinking about a mop, overall I can say that Jesus is good and He has made me qualified for this position.

     When I first started this position, heck when I first moved here in general, I felt so unsure and so "unsafe" you could say. Not in a physical manner, but there was a certain security I was lacking. But i'm learning that I can find my safe place in Him.

     Yep, there's my wordy mess for now.
      I hope whoever reads this is encouraged that whatever seemingly tedious task is before you can be achieved with joy and authority. Just ask Jesus for His grace to abound in you through that job! You'd be surprised how little things can excite you after that. :)

Blessings and courage be sent to you,
Jackie Poole 

Fully Adopted.

[Adopted]
1. Legally take another's child and bring it up as one's own.
2. Take up or start to use or follow (an idea, method, or course of action)

     Since I've moved to Las Vegas, the Lord has been after my heart hard core. During my Discipleship Training School, I thought that I had gained an understanding of the difference between having an orphaned heart and having an adopted one. Turns out, those 5 months were just the tip of the iceberg of things God had to show me about this.

     Turns out, I've lived most of my life as an orphan. Now, don't get me wrong - my parents have always loved me and supported me in the best of times and the worst of times. But I allowed the devil to speak identity into me and I allowed him to to declare my worth. Worst part? I believed him. I used to believe that what other's thought of me was important and worth worrying about. I had a fear of man that controlled me. I believed that I not only could I disappoint God, but I did so frequently. I felt that just by being myself that I was more of a liability for God's kingdom than an asset, let alone a royal. These, among others, were the lies I held so tightly to. The lies that I said my morals and self worth were based on. 

     It's now been a year since I began my DTS and God has been drilling into me this entire time about how I am not only in His kingdom, but an adopted princess, a chosen royal, an authority in this world. I've been researching online, reading books and receiving council on what being an adopted royal means. And I'd love to say that it's an easy transition from a beggar in the courtyard to a princess in the palace. But the honest truth is that it's been a constant struggle.

     Sometimes I still think that God is disappointed in my performance because other people are.  Sometimes I still think that if I don't constantly serve Him and if I ever say "No" that I'm letting Him down and not doing my job. I still find myself insignificant. I still struggle with thinking that my skills and talents aren't worth half a penny or anybody's time. The truth is that God is always proudly cheering me on, proud of who I am and what I do, He says it's okay to say "No", because rest is important. God declares me significant, talented, skilled and qualified to serve Him in the positions I've been put in, no matter how comfortable that leaves me. 

     All this to say, I'm still learning. Daily I find myself enamored with who God is and just how deep His love and adoption is for me. There is nothing he keeps from me as an adopted child, no privileges that I don't get. He puts it all on the table. He gives it all. He accepts it all. 

     For some this may be the most basic of ideas. But to me, it takes allot to sink in. It's still not fully absorbed. I constantly question things, but I constantly hear the Lord say "I am your daddy and I keep no good thing from you!" and "I am your daddy, find comfort in my love." I think so much of my life I've focused on Jesus as my lover, but now I'm starting to see Him as a Daddy too. A poppa that never fails, that never forgets, that is always there, that never expects a performance. A daddy whose arms I can crawl into and sing with for hours.

     Perhaps this blog post is pointless to most, but to me... it's everything. I've just been so enraptured by how deep it all is. God is so good, so Holy, so worthy. He is SO WORTHY of it all. I am amazed by how truly good and worthy He is. I could ramble about it for days. I could type about it for months. Guys, I AM FULLY ADOPTED. I'm not a half child of Jesus. I'm a full royal. Drenched in the Father's love. I'm still learning what all that means, but it's a glorious adventure.

     The more I understand all of this, the more I understand why the entire world needs to hear about all of this. The streets of Las Vegas, the streets of Nevada, the streets of this nation, the streets of the world are full of sons and daughters of Christ who could have suffered the lies of the Devil telling them that they're never going to be good enough for God's love. That they're not worthy. 

But they are good enough and they are worthy, thanks to Jesus. 

I want to tell them all about my Daddy and how good He is. 

That is all... for now. 

-Jackie

Newsletter June/July 2013

Mission Adventures

     Around 3 weeks ago, we hosted our first team for Mission Adventures. We had two youth groups join us for the same week: One from North Carolina and one from Georgia. Together, with our summer staff, we had 55 people running around. They arrived on a Friday night and our busy week for them began on Saturday morning. We spent the first part of the week training them in evangelism and bringing them out to practice it. The last part of their week was spent in multiple outreaches, a 10/40 window teaching and intercession for world hunger.

     Though it was somewhat of a struggle to get the kids comfortable with approaching strangers for evangelism, the week turned out great and lives were changed. These crazy, radical teenagers turned themselves to God and left their fear of man at Jesus’ feet. Through their decision to obey God’s word to go to all and preach the gospel, crazy things started happening. These teenagers jumped all in, they made themselves available and ready to serve. Through their passion and zeal we saw over 20 people supernaturally healed of different visible health problems, a large number of people come to Jesus, so many people loved on and we saw 46 teenagers from the east coast lay their lives down from Jesus and experience Him in a new way.

     There was a young girl, Anna on the team from Atlanta, who told me on the first day “Jackie, I’ve been praying for boldness for years. But I’m too shy to talk to strangers and God just never seems to give it to me.” By the end of the week I stood by her, in awe, as she asked to pray for a man who was called “Ogre” (and for good reason!). She was bold. She was changed. I was blessed to be witness to a a scared little girl who was stepping into her armor and stepping into life BOLD and ready for more!

    Often I ask myself why God has chosen me to work with Mission Adventures, then God reminds me of people like Anna who realized God’s love for her and stepped out in her faith to make the first of a lifetime of radical love acts for Jesus. I am so encouraged that I get to witness the metamorphosis of complacent teenagers into passionate, loving, radical warriors for Jesus. I get to constantly pour into the body of Christ in America through serving the summer staff and the teams that come through this base. I’m thankful that I have such awesome support from home, so that I am able to stay here in Vegas and serve God through serving His church.

 

FAITH DAY

     This past Thursday, the summer staff and several of the full time staff did what we call a “Faith Day”. We go out in groups of 2 or 3 with the plan to proclaim the gospel publically and to trust God with something big. We are not aloud to bring any money or credit cards. We are only able to bring an ID, Bible, Water bottle and a cell phone. I was on a team with two of our summer staff Alexa (who is 21) and Tyler (who is 17).

     My team was dropped off by the MGM hotel & Casino. Since it was 7-11-13, that meant that 7-11 had some free slushies to give out and we were excited to use it as an evangelism tool. We stopped, prayed to ask God for direction, pictures and words then we talked about what we heard and headed to get slushies. We got our refreshments and stood on a nearby wall to proclaim to people about our Jesus. My group had an advantage – we had slushies as a creative tool to share God’s love because “7-11 is giving out free slushies today. They’re free, they’re refreshing, they can bring you joy. Just like Jesus’ love for you. It’s free, it’s refreshing and it will bring you joy!” For 20 minutes, the three of us took turns sharing the gospel of Christ through something as simple as a frozen beverage. When we turned around to leave and saw the store, we were thrilled – there was a line out the door and down the steps. Which, means that people were listening to us and for the rest of the day they’d be thinking about God’s refreshing love, just like that free slurpee.

     After we were done preaching on the street corner, we headed towards the MGM buffet, because God had given us the clear word to trust him for both supernatural healings AND a free meal. When we got to the buffet, my precious little brother Tyler approached the counter, asked to speak with the manager and explained to him our what we were doing and what we were asking. The manager, Jeremy, told us that he couldn’t give out free meal tickets – for a moment we experienced some disappointment. But then, Jeremy pulled out his wallet and used his personal credit card to pay for all 3 of us to eat at the buffet. We were floored and in tears. Reminded that “If you ask, you will receive” and that when we ask Jesus for blessings, he does not give us a stone instead. God is SO MUCH FUN and he loves to give good gifts to His children. We are His royal, blessed, well taken care of children!

     Before we left the buffet, Tyler went to the bathroom and found a janitor who had a knee problem. Tyler talked to him for a moment and asked if he could pray for him. With his consent, Tyler laid hands on the man’s knee and prayed for God to supernaturally change the make-up of the knee and restore it to it’s proper place. The man felt all the pain leave and immediately took of his brace. The obvious gimp that the janitor had previously walked with was completely gone and he could hop on one leg, with all his weight on his bad knee. Jesus is the great physician.

      So many awesome, crazy things happened on our faith day. An entire book could not hold the stories I have to tell about this day. It all comes down to Jesus reminding us that he is faithful, and through faith we can see crazy awesome things happen in His name. The biggest thing for me to remember is that, it is not an abuse of faith or God’s power to trust him for things like MGM grand buffet. God wants to treat me to special gifts.

     It’s also a blessing to see my summer staff used by Jesus in awesome ways. In ways that they doubted God would or could use them. It’s always a great, great thing to be witness to the growth that takes place when Jesus does super awesome things in another person’s life.

 Anti Human Trafficking:

     Although we are unable to meet throughout the summer, the Anti-Human Trafficking team is still active. I get the privilege of leading a human trafficking themed intercession time every week for our Mission Adventures students. This gives me the opportunity to remain up to date with current numbers and stories.

     It’s such a blessing to be able to share my heart for anti-trafficking, spread awareness of the issue to one of the most vulnerable age groups and then teach teams how to sit at Jesus’ feet and intercede on behalf of the pimps, johns and victims involved. We tend to focus on the problem in Las Vegas, but I’m also sure to look up numbers from their own home state, the nation and world.

     In general, our awareness talks and time of intercession for human trafficking, tend to be very eye opening. On our Mission Adventures teams we usually have a large age range. This last week we had kids ranging from 13-22 years old, not to mention leaders. I’ve only gotten great responses and have seen some gain a fiery passion to do everything they can to end trafficking through a furious love.

     In the future, our anti-trafficking team is looking to continue with our involvement in city wide awareness events, awareness presentations in colleges, public schools and youth groups and we hope to branch out into other areas of abolition here in Las Vegas.

Just Life:

     Soon, the summer will be coming to an end, which means the end of Mission Adventures. YWAM Las Vegas will be transitioning into their Discipleship Training Program and everyone’s rolls will shift to help accommodate the season that God has led us to.

    I will remain in my position as head of housekeeping and hospitality, I may be involved as staff for the DTS and I will most certainly remain on the anti-trafficking team.

   After MA has finished and the dust has settled, I will be visiting Michigan! I’ll be in Michigan the last week in August for vacation, but while I am home I am hoping to have an evening where family, friends and supporters can come and hear testimonies first hand of all the things that have happened in Las Vegas since I arrived in April.

I am so thankful, to have you all as support. It is a comfort and a blessing to know that I have people standing behind me in my mission here.

Prayer Requests:

·         That I would find a home church, here in Vegas.

·         For lives to change during Mission Adventures.

·         For God to continue to reveal himself to me in new ways, continued growth and learning. 

GRACE CITY! Letter Update April/May 2013

Hey Guys, 

This is the newsletter I sent out to all of my supporters, now you can be in the loop too! 

Not Sin City…

     All across the World Las Vegas is known as “Sin City” but God has declared his furious love for the people of Las Vegas, He sent His son to save the lost here, He has proclaimed His grace and will let it rain. When Vegas was first discovered, it was a place of rest and refuge for weary travelers heading further west. Now, Las Vegas is desert land and restless. But God desires to renew the city to be a place where people come to find grace and rest. When the time of transformation has come to this city, I firmly believe that this place will be known by a new name – Grace City!

Since I’ve Arrived…

     Since starting work in April, I have been trained to run our hospitality and housekeeping department, I have become the right hand woman for our Mission Adventures program this summer and I have become a part of our 6 person team focused on the bases involvement with anti-trafficking ministries. Over the past 2 months the Lord has truly blessed my time, given me opportunities, showed His goodness and allowed me to see His transformation in the lives.

     As head of Hospitality and Housekeeping, it is my job to be the steward of our building and property by overseeing the housekeeping of our base by delegating work duties and executing my own projects throughout the base. For Hospitality, I keep track of laundry, cleanliness and supplies for our guest room, which is used for our Discipleship Training School teachers and guests throughout the year. Through this position I am able to meet allot of new people and share with them YWAM Las Vegas’ heart for this city and explain what we do here.

   Mission Adventures are our week long, full service, urban mission trips that we run for youth & college age groups. The youth pastors get their teams here and we take care of the food, in city transportation, outreach trainings, teachings, outreach materials, locations, debrief times, worship, etc. This summer we have 8 short term staff members who are volunteering their summer to help us run this program and encourage the teens. 

Unexpected Opportunity

     This past week, I was bringing a few of our summer staff to the strip to explore and get familiar with their new outreach stomping grounds.  It was around 8:30pm while we walked on a footbridge between two casinos, over the busy traffic. I saw a homeless man sitting on the bridge, asking for tips. As I passed by I felt God tell me to buy him dinner. So after searching for something delicious and special to buy him, I went and sat next to this sweet man and handed him some hot Stromboli and a soda. I just started with asking him questions. Joey (pictured with me above), is a child of our living God. Who was dropped off in Las Vegas by his sister and abandoned here, no home, no friends, no hope. After sitting on this bridge, willing to do most anything for tips with not many responses for weeks – Joey gave up hope that anyone cared. He gave up hope that God had a plan for him. As we talked, Audrey (one of the summer staff) and myself were able to pray for and prophecy over Joey. He was an instant fountain of tears. His face beamed with joy. In that moment he decided to declare the love of the Lord over himself and claiming the plans that God has for him. It was such a blessing to watch a night of exploration turn into ministry and to watch a sad and hopeless face turn into one of the most joyful smiles I’ve ever seen! 

Anti- Human Trafficking…

     Shortly after joining staff here in Las Vegas a small group of around 6 people formed amongst our staff to restart and further the anti-trafficking ministry that has been such a huge part of this base. We have been brainstorming and experimenting with what could be our niche and what services we can provide to further God’s heart for Justice here in Las Vegas, while still being mindful of what other organizations are already doing. We have had the opportunity to prayer walk some of the more notorious parts of town, we’ve partnered with different ministries and organizations and seeking training for our staff. In May I was able to speak at one of University of Nevada, Las Vegas’ classes. I was so thankful to have the opportunity to speak to a classroom full of Las Vegas locals and raise awareness about the issue in their own backyard.

      I am so excited to see what all God accomplishes in and through us over the next 6 months as we go through our training and experimentation. Currently in our building we have several empty offices and we have invited several local, grass roots style anti-trafficking organizations to take those spaces. It is our hope to create a hub of activity and a community of fellowship for like minded ministries.

     While we have been experimenting with our skill sets and opportunities, we have been looking into possible awareness assemblies at local schools. There are over 300,000 students in the Clark County school district, most of which have no sort of anti-trafficking safety awareness or anything of the sort. We are seeking advice and training of people who have done these things in the past.

     It is my desire to be face to face with the girls more often, very soon. Please be praying that God would go before us and cover this city in his protection. 

Update Video: 1

Definition of Provider.

Pro-vid-er
Noun
1. A person or thing that provides something.
2. A breadwinner

Over the years I've come to know Jesus as my breadwinner and now, more than ever, He is showing Himself true in this way once again. Yes, I work and I always try my best to do whatever I can to generate the income I need to live. However, Jesus is always a gentlemen and he fights me for the check like "Whoa, whoa... this is a DATE! I'm paying your way!"

So, over the past few weeks, I've been working my butt off to save up money for my drive out to Las Vegas and trying to find supporters who can pledge a monthly donation to pay for staff fees. Of course, Jesus just kinda smirks at me and foots the bill once again.

I've been given some house cleaning jobs out of nowhere, that just bless my socks off. And one or two supporters have come out of the woodwork and offered to donate monthly, which blows my mind! I've not yet reached my goal, but to see the beautifully woven story of how these people came to support me, leaves me in complete awe of God's mighty hand. It doesn't matter how hard I work and how hard I try to follow through with different tasks, my Father always finds a way to bless me beyond expectation.

My life definition of provider? Jesus.

He is so good to me and I can hardly stop singing His praises. Everytime someone asks me why I want to return to Las Vegas the "horrid - Sin City" I get excited and can't help but smile. Why? Because it's my dream and not only is God behind this dream %100 but so are many of the people around me. It's intense.

I just feel so set free, validated, encouraged and loved on by my Father lately. My life is a bit of a hectic mess, with getting ready to leave and all. But, I just love how he calms and quiets me and gently whispers songs into my mind.

I know that I'm just rambling at this point, I just can't help but be overwhlemed by the goodness of the Lord.
On occasion, I just want to have a whole blog post about how good he is. Why? Because He's good. :D

I hope you have a blessed day,
-Jackie

Long time no see

    Well, it's been forever since I've gotten to my blog and allot has happened. I went to India for 2 months and my heart was broken for the people, my heart was enamored with a girl named Nandhini and I learned and practiced things that will forever hold close. Hopefully in the near future I will be able to give you short stories and memories as a small glimpse into everything God did in India that I was blessed to be a part of.

     I arrived back in Michigan in mid-January and over the past 2 months I've been pursuing my desire to join staff for YWAM Las Vegas. While I was in my training I felt that I wanted to come back, I did allot of "investigating" through my not-so-sly questions for staff and I told God "If this is really what you want me to do, I need it to be clear! Please let someone talk to me directly about becoming staff before I leave for outreach!" He listened to my childish request for clarity and just a few short days before my team hopped onto that plane, one of the staff members approached me and asked me to consider becoming staff while I was gone. I prayed allot during my outreach and as time progressed I felt more and more that I should go back. Upon arriving back in Vegas after outreach, I had my doubts and questions, honestly there were a few things that gave me cold feet. But throughout my debrief week every doubt and fear was addressed through the persistent nagging (in a loving way) and inquisitive conversations that the Staff so wonderfully provided.

    Now I have applied, my references have been sent in and I have officially been accepted as staff for YWAM Las Vegas! It started out that I needed to be there by April 22nd and as if that wasn't a close enough date, it's now been moved up to April 15th. Which means, I'd be leaving Michigan on April 9th. So, in less than a month I will be hitting the road with a friend and driving to Las Vegas!

    I am in the process of seeking supporters. I am in need of financial supporters who can help me reach the goal of $500 pledged monthly, with a minimum of $300 in order to go to Vegas in the first place. This budget covers all my living costs. Rent, Staff Fees, Groceries, Gas, etc. Or even one time gifts are helpful. For more details you can e-mail me at jackiejoypoole@gmail.com

    God has given me a very strong passion for Las Vegas and I'm really excited to return in a short month!

For now, this is all I am going to post about. My goal is to update every 2 weeks.

I know this is a random update - but I thought I'd just throw some of these things out there before things get too crazy around here! :)

The past 3 weeks!

 So, the past few weeks have been CRAZY! So, here's a past 3 week overview.

Week5
Our special speaker was Morgan Perry, producer of the documentary "Sex & Money". Her subject was Intimacy To Advocacy. It was a great reminder to "love the Lord your God" before you start your advocacy in your calling. When you passionately love the Lord and run after a deeper intimacy with Him, then your compassionate and activist heart will flow out of that vertical relationship. If we're just helping to help, without loving Jesus first... we're harming the cause of the Kingdom. The documentary "Sex & Money" is an educational film about human trafficking in the United States. I don't thin people realize how big the problem is here. We like to innocently believe that it's a problem elsewhere and not terrible here, but it is! The film pulls out the truth about victims, pimps and pornography. There is always so much to learn about this problem here! I found this week so educational and encouraging. It's okay to focus on my relationship with Jesus before I act on my call. If I just act without Jesus being first, I'm doing it wrong. Not many people here encourage that mindset. We live in a country of work, work, work and work some more. I know that I had been pulled into that atmosphere and I had forgotten to keep the first commandment first!

This week's outreach was "Viva La Worship!" We went out to the strip with a battery powered amp, a microphone, an acoustic guitar and our hearts turned towards Jesus.We set up and started worshiping, telling testimonies, telling Jesus' story of redemption for us. People would approach to listen to the music and we'd start conversations. As always, I seem to get the crazy people. I had a guy who was not... filled with Jesus, who was trying to convince me that my conscience is God, therefore my own fleshly decisions are acceptable before the Lord. It was an... interesting view. But for others the night went well. We were able to encourage and pray for people.

Friday night we had friends come to stay with us: The WISE team from YWAM, Denver. WISE stands for school of Worship, Intercession Spiritual warfare and Evangelism. They came to pray for our base and this city and they definitely brought a new life here. They were here Friday - Wednesday and it was an awesome time. We were able to join them for outreaches and they took time to get to know some of us and speak over us. They lead some worship here on base and it was an awesome time of fellowship and growth. I loved it.

Week 6
Pat Caven. Such a wonderful woman! Her subject was Sex & Relationships. She focused allot on group relationships, dealing with confrontation, etc. She did touch on "Romantic Relationships" a little bit... but the main focus was realizing why we believe the things we do and confronting the issue within ourselves, with the Lord or with another believer. I was able to speak with her privately one night and just to soak up her knowledge was just incredibly great! She is such a wise woman of God and I'm excited to keep in contact with her!

This week we didn't do a separate outreach since we were doing it almost every night the WISE team was visiting.

Week 7
Hmmnn... what to say about this last week?! Absolutely my FAVORITE! Our speaker was Kenny Peavy and his subject was Spiritual Warfare. We spent allot of the week learning about how the kingdom of hell fights for us and how the Kingdom of heaven defends us. Learning about lies and beliefs that we've taken up as our own that are truly  just lies of the enemy spoken over us. We spent time lifting it up to the Lord, breaking lies and becoming new, without those lies and fears. I was truly set free of the fear of man. Kenny spent allot of time with me the first day, asking questions, speaking into my life, etc. It was so evident that the Holy Spirit was moving this past week. It's so wonderful. Then we spent time lifting each other up. Taking time to tell each individual what you love about them, then asking what the Lord has to say about them. It was really bonding for our team and I feel like we're living a better unity than we were talking about before this week. I learned allot about the warfare that goes on for my mind. I learned allot about how take thoughts captive. SO GOOD! I have been so hungry for this type of material for SO LONG and it is so freeing to no longer be held by lies, fear and religion. I am a free soul, seeing things like a child see's for the first time. I really enjoyed having Kenny as a speaker and I'm excited to get to see him when we go on our mobile tour in October. :)

Our outreach this week was just worship. We just went to the strip and worshiped, some went out to evangelize, I just stayed and worshiped. I saw the strip in a whole new way and it felt so small, unlike the largeness of it before. It was a great experience.


So, next week we have our Base Director, Richard Thompson teaching on Evangelism. I'm excited for it.

Now is the time I remind you of the importance of giving to Missions. :D
I still have around $1,100 to raise! If you are willing and able, donations are much appreciated. I have teammates who still have much more to raise, so if you'd like information on how to donate for me OR them, just let me know and I'll get you the information.

May God bless you all and rest His Divine favor on your home,
-Jackie

Week 4: Update

Definition:

las ve·gas/läs ˈvāgəs/

A city in southern Nevada; pop. 478,434.

Spanish meaning: The meadows


Hello everyone! How are y'all?  This past week has been fantastic for me! So full of the Lord and His movements in my life and the lives of the people around me. It's fantastic to be witness to all that is going on.

Week 4: Jeff Pratt.
There is so much here to try to explain. He focused on speaking on the father heart of God. Expressing the Father's deep, passionate and longing love for us and the bricks of all sorts we allow to rest between us. It was a very stretching week of dealing with the different problems I had allowed to go unnoticed. It's like I've been soaking my life in a tub of water and tieing little weights to certain problems and parts of my life that I wanted to drown out and forget. Not to "Ignore the problem" but I thought I had it handled. Obviously, the Lord had so much more for me! Against my every fleshly will we were offered a chance to confess to the group the things the Lord was bringing up to us and to lay it before His thrown. Did I say in front of the group?! Jeff took the time to pray for each of us (he has the annointing of evoking tears) and our classmates took time to pray for us as we became desperate for the love and freedom that the Lord has to offer us. Honestly, I feel such a relief in it all. It wasn't just an "Emotional" week, where because of our situation and a good speaker we were all crying and acting like fools. It was the honest and true movement of the Lord in our hearts, cutting strings and releasing us from hidden weights and closed doors. For me, this past week has been a turning point! Not to say I won't struggle or that I won't go through times of captivity (which he also talked about). But just to say I've started the long and laborious process of renewing my mind for the purposes of my Holy God to come and renew!

This weeks ministry night was something we call "2X2's!" We went out to a certain street just a block or so away from the main strip, where allot of "Adult" focused stores, masage parlors and people lurk around. We went in groups of 2 to walk the streets and offer conversation, prayer and encouragement to anyone who would take a moment to listen. It was after the sun had gone down and we were expecting movement. I had a sour attitude all day. I don't know why, I had prayed that the Lord relieve my numbness to the situations around me... but I was just in too fowl of a mood to even wait for His blessings. We walked around and there was almost no one. So, as we walked we prayed for whatever came to mind. Las Vegas was originally a watering hole. A place where weary travelers would stop to rest and be refreshed.  God is longing for this city to not be known as "Sin City" but for His people to flood these streets and bring back the original purpose of Vegas. To refresh the spirit. To bring rest and re-cooperation. No one is going to bring the pendulum swing back to restoration if God's people won't! And best part is, it's not just Las Vegas. God wants to celebrate in every city and country road! He wants His children to feel His passionate longing for their hearts and have a relationship with them.

So, in evaluating this past week, it has been exhausting! Realizing that i had so much pent up that was creating a wall between my Father's passion and myself. I cannot wait to see what the Lord will do next.

It's been almost a month that I've been here! Wow. A month. Just two more months and I'll be in India! Wow. India. Dream so close to being accomplished.

Prayer requests:
1. That the rest of my outreach fee's will be provided ($1,200 to go)
2. That the Lord would continue to minister to my soul through fellow students, staff members, Speakers and His own glorious word.
3. Energy! It's so easy to doze off when you're sitting in a florensant lit conference room for most of the day, I need energy to stay awake and absorb as much information as I can!!
4. Opportunities to pour out into the Locals while we are here in Las Vegas.
5. To find a chuch; we are required to attend a church while here in town, so I would like to find a temporary home.

I hope y'all have a great week and I hope to blog again soon!
-Jackie