Coffee Date: Long awaited update

Well, it's been forever since I've blogged. Here's why:

In the beginning of May I was reaching the end of my computer warranty. There were several quirks with the cosmetics and software, so I figured I'd bring it in and get what I could fixed. I completely dread the thought of handing my computer over to geek squad, they've only ever done me wrong. Long story short... they shipped my computer to headquarters, I got it back in awesome condition, then it didn't start that same night, I brought it back in, and now I have it back... yet again. I hope things actually work this time... I can't afford a new computer and I no longer have a warranty. Lord, give me wisdom to keep this laptop safe and meticulously cared for!

In other new, I was accepted to YWAM Las Vegas for the Abolitionist DTS. If you're friends with me one Facebook, then you are more than aware of my acceptance. I am so utterly ecstatic! I feel so reassured by the Lord and so excited to see what more He has in store. I will be able to go to this 6 month Discipleship Training School, which will be half in Las Vegas for a lecture phase and half in India/Nepal ministering and following the trafficking trails for the sake of rescue and restoration.  Here's a video about the training: http://vimeo.com/38177301 I have something like 73 days left until I leave, and I still have over $7,000 to raise! [If you'd like to donate, you can go to http://www.ywamlasvegas.org/donate.html use paypal, and in special directions put "For Jackie Poole DTS"]. I'm taking as many extra hours as I can at the Mission and trying to pick up as many babysitting and odd jobs as I can to earn money for this school. It's quite stressful having so much to earn/fund raise.. but I know that the Lord is faithful to complete the work He has started here.

Really, right now... allot of my world is focusing around everything I need to do to get to Vegas. Cleaning, packing and organizing my room, packing to leave, raising all the money, finding airline tickets, trying to spend time with people before I leave. That's not even half of it. Oy vey... so much to do.

God has really just been romancing me with the reality of this calling He has placed in my life. With no sort of leading at all I'll start thinking of how I get to serve in this way and how it blesses me so and I get the type of unyielding butterflies that I've only heard of in love stories. It seems so, far fetched to me that I am doing this... yet it is the reality and the call that God has set before me. <3

I have allot of friends going places soon. Heather (a sweet friend and blogger at http://heatherhallslife.blogspot.com/ ), who is going to Mozambique for the summer. Alex, who is going to work on Mackinac Island for the summer. Joanna and Bethany, who are going to South Africa. Then, before any of them get back... I'll be gone. Sheesh, so much gone-ness.

Sooo... there's my current update!
Anything I missed? No, at least... I don't think so.

Peace and Passion,
-Jackie

In preparation for my tentative plans for the future, I am stressing out. There is allot that needs to be done, most of which I cannot do on my own. I am in desperate need of the Lord's providing, overseeing, graceful, just hand in all of this! I'm going a little bit crazy. There are 2 scriptures that have really struck a chord lately.

"Banish emotional stress from your mind and put away pain from your body; for youth and the prime of life are fleeting." - Ecclesiastes 11:10 [sounds like finals week to me]

"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." - 2 Corinthians 9:8

God is so good and His mercies never fail!

In other news: My laptop warranty runs out in 2 weeks, so soon I'll be bringing my laptop in for some minor fixes. Geek Squad has screwed me over pretty bad in the past, so I'm going to HOPE that they can handle this business in a timely fashion, if not... there will be pain. SO, depending on how productive or stupid the squad is being I may be out of blogging commission for a while.

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read my blog.
Peace and passion,
Jackie

Five Friday Favorites: Drinking Vessel Eddition [A day late...]

1.  My "Keep Calm And Carry On" mug! I've been pretty obsessed with this motto and have been wanting a poster for my room... but I can't right now. A friend bought this for me, and it's perfect.

2.  My work thermos! It says "I'm a Rescuer. City Rescue Mission" It's super good and keeping things hot or cold for long periods of time. It also has the website on it: www.bearescuer.com Check out the website. I love my job and I'm so thankful I get to serve the Lord this way! 

3. I am unafraid to admit that I am really into the mustache trend right now. Which, means I REALLY like these mugs! There are whole sets of them each mug with a different stache. 

4. I would like this size of a cup when I go to Biggby! 

5. This is what I most like to put INTO my mugs and drinking vessels! English tea! Yep, I think I've taught myself how to make a pretty good cuppa! 

That's all for now,

Peace and favor, 

Jackie

Five Friday Favorites

Here are this weeks favorites.

1. My glasses. I had glasses back in the day. But, I had lost them and never tried to get new ones. I finally gave in so that I could read again. I'm pretty much in love with them. I've been wearing them more than necessary, but everything looks so much clearer!

2. My phone. I have a Samsung Moment. I adore it. I bought it around 4 or 5 months ago and it was the first smart phone I've had. It's nice being able to stay connected (and keep track of weight watchers points) while on the go, without lugging around my computer! Today it gave me this reminder without any sort of prompt from me. I think it's an occasional feature from my bible app.

3. Coffee! I'm sitting here with a cup of coffee, I'm about to go meet some friends for a coffee date... I like my coffee! If my dad see's this picture, he might get a little mad... I'm using the mug he got just a while ago when my parents went to Tennessee for their anniversary.

4. "Too young to love" by Boy Epic. So, I found this song because he randomly found and followed me on twitter. This song was stuck in my head all day yesterday. Just listen till the chorus. Don't judge, it's pretty darn great. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he4ilmGHfWQ

5. This is possibly my favorite show on TV right now. I don't know why, it just is.

Coffee Date: The catch up post

So, last week I failed at blogging. In my defense, allergies hit me like I ran into a wall and then it so kindly turned into a cold. I coughed so much I'm pretty sure I have abs now. Anyways, when I'm sick I am a pathetic human being. I can't make decisions, I'm grumpy, I refuse to take medication and when I finally do take it, the result is allot of stupid things coming out of my mouth. Once, I sang "You're gonna love me" for 20 minutes straight while walking up and down my stairs... My point being, I was in no shape to post something that could be on the interwebs forever. Just not going to happen. However, I do apologize to anyone who reads regularly (HA regular readers, what wishful thinking!).

In other news:
I'm getting very discouraged. I am currently doing weight watchers and a member of a gym... I want to lose weight. Not because I want to be skinny, but because I want to be at my best for the Lord's service. Health is my ultimate goal and I know that includes me losing weight. I generally shy away from this subject on my blog because it may be easy to delete a rude comment and ignore interweb haters, but it's not at all easy to know the potential of the people who surround you "finding out" and then being constantly interested in your goals and achievements in this area. Weight and health is a REALLY hard area for me to just be honest and open about. I'm always terrified that I'll get comments like "Finally, I've been hoping you would shed some pounds for a long time!" or "Yay, you're finally getting skinny." those are not at all uplifting comments. Even as I type I'm thinking of a list of people I hope never ever read this post.

I've been doing weight watchers for 3(?) weeks and so far I've lost around 6lbs total. I'm absolutely devastated. I was expecting more. Not like, "Oh it's been 3 weeks, I'm a size 2 now, right?" But I expected more than 6 stinking pounds! UGH! I feel like I've failed. The first thing that entered my mind was "So, even when i'm trying to lose weight, I'm just gonna be fat? Great... thanks life!" I mean, I am nowhere near giving up. I'm actually planning my trip to the gym tomorrow and what I would like to do while there. So, i'm not done just because i'm discouraged... it's just so hard!

Let's be honest, nobody LIKES getting all sweaty and eating a heaping helping of lettuce all day. If you say differently, I would point out that you like the outcome not the practice. :) When you're schedule consists of school 2 days a week, work 3 days a week, fit bible study, studying, practicing and all of life's little errands in there somewhere... it's just not the most exciting thing to go to the gym! Obviously, I'm not yet at the point where going to the gym is a relaxing time for me. I hope to get there soon. Like tomorrow. haha... so not happening.

All this to say, I would appreciate prayer. I am trying to improve my health and quality of life and when I feel like there are absolutely no results... it's hard to keep going. It's so hard to just say "Okay, I am doing this so I can achieve my dreams. So that I can live a healthier life with less constrictions. So that I can serve God more and better (more better?). So that I can like my clothes. Everything is worth it." I feel like it's not been worth it at all.

I officially feel like I've been open enough for today's post. :P

I'll leave you with this:
"Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." - Psalm 143:8 [I want to memorize this and quote it every morning when I wake up. Something worthy of thinking about with my first thoughts.]

Peace and favor,
Jackie

Definite Directions: Motivation

This is late by a day. But here it is.

Lately the Lord has really been laying on my heart the importance of diligence and watching where my priorities are. Aside from my relationship with God being my ultimate priority, I tend to get everything else in the wrong order. I will spend hours watching 19 Kids and Counting or Blimey Cow on youtube, but I'll not spend more than 30 minutes on homework. I'm in the last 4 week stretch of school... and let me tell you, it is SO HARD! Ever since spring break (the first week of March) I have been mentally checked out. I've been so extremely un-motivated to do anything within the school work realm. This is not okay. It's also really hard to find motivation when I'm pretty sure that I won't be returning to school after this semester since I'm planning on going to Vegas with YWAM (Youth With A Mission). Nevertheless, my lack of diligence and hard work is not acceptable.

Thursday was the worst day ever. All of my teachers were in bad moods, I lost my ATM card and couldn't get out of the parking ramp at school and with several other problems hurled at me... the 5 hours of sleep I had wasn't preparation enough for that day. I was in a foul mood and cried through my mom's birthday dinner. Definitely nailed the celebration spirit for that one (if only you knew how large that eye roll was that I just gave myself). This day was not an encouragement on my journey to motivation.

So, over the past week or so I've been trying to go stronger at my homework. I do so much despise homework. I've written 3/4's of my critiques for Vocal Performance, I've done everything I need to for my Psychology project, I've studied and practiced for each class. I think I'm doing pretty well... for now. I hope I'm able to keep my motivation up and running... I still have 8 school days to go.

After school ends I'll still need LOADS of motivation. I have $8,000 to earn/raise by August! GAH! Can you say working 2-3 jobs over the summer?! Yikes. Jesus, you're in control.

So, God is definitely leading me to a place of higher diligence and motivation. I only pray I can learn everything I possibly can!

Peace and favor,
Jackie

Five Friday Favorites

1. Favorite Nails
I love this lavender color! Sally Hansen's "Hard as Nails Xtreme wear" has done me well! This particular color is called "Lacey Lilac" I love wearing it on it's own, or even with a bit of confetti glitter.

2. Favorite Song
"Destructor" by Kenosis [Kenosis is a band at one of Mars Hill Church's locations], It's a little weird to get used to, because it's a song focused on the Lord's justice. Not just a song about "I love him, he loves me." This song is powerful and it comforts me when I see injustice and I am reminded that God is the ultimate and perfect balance of justice and grace! My favorite line from this song: "Sin is a declaration of war! God will have His glory, one way or another!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_fpVMKmeyo&feature=related


3. Favorite Accessory
This black and white floral scarf that I picked up from Pluto's Closet for $5! I've been working it into any outfit I can for a couple weeks now!

4. Favorite Place

I've never even been here, but it is still my current favorite place! If you don't know why, read my last "Coffee Date" post, I explain my plans and excitement! 

5. Favorite quote
"May God break my heart so completely that the whole world falls in."
There is some contraversy about this quote. Many attribute it so Mother Teresa, however... there are also many who very sternly say that this is a false quote of hers. Not one she actually made. So, I don't really know who to say it is by.

Coffee Date

If we were to go on  a coffee date right now, this is what I would tell you.

I'm getting really excited... and stressed.
For a couple of weeks now I've been praying and praying about taking an opportunity... a big one. I found out that through YWAM (Youth With A Mission) there is a Discipleship Training School in Las Vegas that is specifically focused on the abolition of human trafficking. It's 6 months long, spending 3 months in Vegas and 3 months in either Nepal, India or Thailand. The moment I found it I wanted to go. I mean, is there a more perfect thing for me to do?! NO! So, as is usually the case I got way too excited about the possibility before I prayed about it. I should work on praying first, I mean seriously... I should. But either way, I DID pray about it. I talked to my parents and I got the first part of my application in. My mom encouraged my to "put out the fleece, ask God to answer you." I always feel like me putting the fleece out is proving that I'm doubtful. I just have a hard time doing it, even though I know that it is a perfectly acceptable way for me to communicate with Him. Eventually, I caved and I put out the fleece... so to speak (Though I did almost grab a fleece blanket and put it in the yard... I think that would have been a bit too literal). So far, all signs point to YES. Thus my excitement. I'm working on getting my 3 references, my Dr's papers and consent forms in as soon as I possibly can!

Here is the stressful part. I WOULD LEAVE IN AUGUST! The school starts in exactly 4 months and 4 days. Intense. I have $8,500 to raise. Not all of it is due upon arrival... but I would like to get as much as I can before I leave the state. I'm planning on getting a second job... maybe a third. I'm hoping to do some fundraisers and I am excited for those. Would you all keep me in your prayers?!
Prayer requests:

• That I not go crazy trying to work for most of my funds.
• That I would allow God to move and take control of the situation.
• That I will learn what I need to be effective on the front of rescue and restoration in human trafficking.
• That God will grab the hearts of men, women and children throughout Vegas and whichever country my team will end up going to (Thailand, Nepal or India) and that I can be a part of His movements. 
• For the funds to come in. It's allot of money, but I trust the Lord and your prayers are a comfort.

I'm really excited about this possibility. If you are willing to pray for/with me over this school and the things I have listed - Will you please leave a comment below, send me an e-mail or connect with me on Facebook letting me know that you are joining me in prayer? Thank you. 

Right about now is when I would wish I could get a free refill of coffee and listen to you talk about work. When you were done telling me about how work is going, I'd tell you this. 

Yeah, I'm glad that I finally work somewhere and I feel like I belong there. Working with Christian co-workers and in a ministry where we can provide shelter and food to the homeless. There are some people that I hate to see go, though I love the fact that they have housing. Sometimes I feel like I don't really DO much, not much of a difference is made. But, last weekend (since I only work Fridays - Sundays) when I was working one of the 15 year old girls who was there with 2 siblings and her mother whispered to me "We're moving out! But Shhhh! Don't tell anyone just yet." I smiled and asked her why she was telling me if it were a secret? She said it was because I only worked on the weekends and that they'd be leaving during the week and she wanted me to know. I gave her a hug and told her that I would miss her. She told me "Yeah, it's not going to be the same without you guys. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather have a home... but I'm going to miss you." I just smiled and went along with my work... because, let's be honest. I have really awkward responses is those situations and my silence was the safest route.

It was encouraging to me that her and her younger sister would miss me. That means I did something right. They felt loved, they felt accepted. They weren't always the easiest kids to handle, but I loved 'em and I think they understood that. It was a good weekend at work. I'm really hoping that there's not too much drama or too many emergencies this weekend.

Well, it's about time for me to go. I'm sure you have things to do as well.
I need to go practice piano (Not doing so hot with the new key I'm playing in), I need to pick and memorize a song and I should probably do laundry. I hate laundry. Why can't it magically do it's self? ... I'm going to figure some way to put as little effort into doing it. :)

I hope you all have a fantastic day, I'll be posting again on Friday.
May you have peace and favor,
Jackie

Definite Directions

directions - plural of di-rec-tion (noun)

       Noun:  1. A course along which someone or something moves.

                 2. The course that must be taken in order to reach a destination

With "Definite Directions" it is my plan to share weekly where I feel the Lord is directing my focus and passion so that I can share with you the course on which my heart will [hopefully] move closer to Him. 

Lately the Lord has really been pressing freedom. I have been broken hearted for those caught in human trafficking for sometime now. It just never seizes to amaze and infuriate me just how cruel and unfeeling some can be towards another human being. God has been revealing to me scriptures of freedom and showing me how this applies to me and how it applies to my heart for rescue and restoration for these women and children caught in slavery. 

[Galatians 5:1] For freedom Christ set us free; so stand firm and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery.

To me, this scripture is both a promise of hope and a warning of stewardship. It is for freedom that Christ has saved us, so that we are no longer enslaved to our burdens and wrong doings or the shame that comes with them. Yet, we must be wise stewards over the things we allow in our lives as to not allow ourselves to be yoked again to our burdens and shame. For me this means, as much as I would like to run around the world and show every woman enslaved and every hopeless child that there is a God who reigns without enslavement, I must first be sure that I am overseeing the well-being of my life. In other words: There is allot I want to do and SO much I wish I could say... but first I have to make sure my stories line up and that I'm able to live the freedom I so desperately yearn to share.

Sometimes this is difficult for me. I have the tendency to allow shame from my past of depression, suicidal thoughts and anger dictate how I relate to people. I allow my shame of my past depression to make me feel uncomfortable that anyone ever think I'm upset or sad... I allow my shame to convince me that I am a selfish, hard hearted woman who is a blemish on the skin of a "holier" society. All these statements are untrue. I need to grasp the freedom that Christ came to give and be brutally honest with myself. 

The rough truth is that: It's forgiven. There is no reason for shame when the King of Kings has passed over my wrongs. That's something I can count on.

So there it is, my first Definite Directions. I hope you enjoyed it. 

Please be sure to subscribe or leave a comment below, I'd love to hear your feedback.

May you have peace and favor,

 Jackie

Travel Log: Monday, March 5th 2012.

Leaving the house for a trip is never as quick or as easy as you may plan. This morning when I woke up (at the ungodly hour of 5:30am) I thought I had everything planned out. I had my clothes set aside and a sticky note of everything I need to make sure I had grabbed before I ran out the door attached to my keys. My parents had already told me not to intentionally wake them, so there was no weird early morning "My baby is traveling alone for the first time" conversations. The task seemed SO simple, apprantly it was all TOO simple. I woke up to my alarm, on time. I quickly got dressed and grabed anything I thought I needed from my room (like my cell charger, my cell phone, laptop, etc.). I went downstairs, gathered everything else that was on my sticky note list and threw it in a bag. Success! I had time to eat breakfast before I hit the road. I get out to my car and of course I forgot something. This is an infallible habbit of mine. My forgetting something until I'm in the drivers seat is more regular than Lindsay Lohan's botox injections! So, I ran into the house to grab the few long lost items that I needed. Fortunately, since it was just me I was packing for, I pulled out only 15 minutes later than I had planned.

For thoseof you who know me well, I am not an "Allone" type of person. I am very much a "I surround myself with people all the time so I don't have to experience silence" type of person. :) Well, I did pretty well for the first few hours. However, around 8:30 I was feeling a tad bit groggy... Since I have no one with me to keep me awake, I pulled over at a "Service Plaza" (Everything in Ohio is called a 'Plaza"...WHAT THE HECK?!) slept for half an hour, woke up with  my sore throat feeling aggitated. I ran inside the mini=mall and bought myself some cough drops and what did I find?! A STARBUCKS! In Lansing, these things are few and far between. I'm fairly confident there is only a single starbucks within a decent drivingdistance from where I live. Though I'm ussually a Biggby girl (for those of you who don't know, that's a local coffee shop), sometimes Starbucks is the only thing that can satisfy the coffee snob within. From there, I hit the road again. I've been driving almost non stop (I did stop for gas). It is now 1pm. I've stopped for lunch (more substantial then granola bars) at a local Denny's.

I've decided that toll workers are angry people, well... at least until I got to Pennsylvania. There is nothing better than a middle aged man "Closing" his booth so he can take a moment to look at your nails! haha He was the best, I wish I could have gotten a picture with him! A good 10+ hours after I left home, I arrived, found parking and made it to my cousins house. Which, is pretty much my dream appartment. haha We searched the web for ideas of things I could do while she was at work during the days and then we ordered in. Chinese, always a good choice. :)

Now I'm just hoping that this cold-ish thing that has ahold of me will let go so I can enjoy my week!

So long for now,
Jackie

The ways He moves.

For a long time I've felt a silence. God had just not provided the leading voice I thought I so desperately needed. I felt rather neglected and so extremely at a loss of purpose. Whenever it came to a decision about my life it would always come down to a a fight between needing to make a deccision and wanting to wait for God's leading. I rather lost hope in hearing from the Lord. It seemed as if it had been SO long! I struggled with a constant depression, a constant weight on my heart. I felt as if someone had filled a blanket with bricks and wraped it around me and I knew that Jesus was the only one able to take it off, but he just wouldn't listen to me long enough to see the blanket. I knew he heard me, but he was just so UN-evident. If I'm being completely honest, I just gave up the hope that God cared enough for me to care about my life. I still was trying to live according to the Holy Spirit's convictions on my life, I was still praying and spending time in the word (though not as much). I just came to expect that these were mundane, boring, meaningless motions I was to go through every day to please God, all the while never even hoping to get something from Him in return. I didn't really care anymore.

Lately, I've been going to a bible study. Every Thursday night I go to a biggby and discuss the word of God with around 6 other girls, who all love Jesus very much. I was able to converse and interpret the word and feel convictions. I wasn't "Godless" only without the leadership or input the Lord provides. As a group we decided to do a 21 day fast. We took a week and prayed about what the Lord would like to have us remove from our lives for a while. It was really hard for me to figure out what I should fast from. Eventually I decided that I could fast from Movies. I spend allot of time just watching movies while studying, talking on the phone, etc. A BIG time waster.

May I just tell you how AWESOME our God is?! Two days after the fast had begun, I lost my phone. I was so beyond frustrated and I was VERY ready to just be mad. I went home, scanned craigslist and found a phone that seemed acceptable. The very next day I was able to purchase a hardly used smart phone for a very affordable price. Then, Monday, only 4 days after the fast had begun God provided me with a car. An extremely affordable car that (God willing) will last me many years. God is revealing himself anew to me. It's not only these events that have given me hope, they are only a piece of the puzzle. Most certainly the Lord has reminded me that I am not forgotten. He is awesome and He is good.

I've had an itch lately, to do something, go somewhere... I don't even know. It's an unbearable itch that I just want to scratch but can't. God has the back scratcher. For now, he's given me some soothing lotion, but I know he's going to wait until I literally cannot take the itch anymore, then he shall scratch it for me. :) I have many tenative plans for this summer. I'm just throwing myself through every open door with the faith that God will slam quite a few of them in my face. I need the contentment and the humility to accept those "no" responses.

On Febuary 9th, I am starting a 40 day juice fast. It will be very difficult, but I feel that the Lord has led me to it and that His strength alone will give me the joy and strength to make it through. I will be attentatively waiting for the Lord's direction. I will pray for the things he lays on my heart, I will spend as much time with him as I can and just soak him up! It's been a long time since I have purposefully focused on my own growth and relationship with God. I'm generally rather focused on everything that's happening outside of myself.

I'm so excited to see where all the Lord is going to change me and where he will lead me. I'm so happy to be a servant of the Most High! It is only He who moves among us whom I can entrust with my life and all it's dysfunctions, misdirections and hopes. Our God leads, directs, loves, cares, bears, takes, gives, makes, ruins and fathers. I'm excited to see what He'll reveal himself to me as next. :)

With high hopes and desperation,
-Jackie

Niftyness

I am so excited. For the past year or so I've been falling more and more in like with skinny jeans (yes, I said Like instead of Love, get over it!). I had a few pair and wanted to more. But any jeans that withstand some normal wear and tear are stinking expensive! I personally am not ready to spend $100 on two pairs of jeans. 

So, a friend turned me on to this blog post ( http://whollykao.com/2011/11/07/diy-skinny-jeans/ ). Wholly Kao is a fantastic crafting site to check out, if that's something you're into... but anyways. I had several pairs of old jeans that still fit well in the waist and hips but just didn't cut muster for me to wear in public (ever, ever again). So, I looked up some video tutorials on the subject, read a couple different blogs and went for it. I am extremely happy with the outcome too! I don't currently have pictures to post, but I'll take some pictures during my next pair I modify. It's such a cheap way to bulk my jeans closet! 

I've been in an extremely crafty mood lately. Crocheting, knitting, modifying jeans, I want to make a pair of sweater boots next. If any of you have any chic, fun crafts you've wanted to try or have done let me know! Comment with a link or description. I'm feeling niftily adventurous! 

Sincerely lacking a sense of creative purpose, 

-Jackie

School, school, school...

So,  if you know me at all you've probably caught on to the fact that school isn't really my best subject. Though I try, and I do mean try, things tend to make it harder for me. I'm learning to cope and looking for possible helps and solutions... but under any circumstances being expected to pay attention for 7 hours a day while struggling with ADD and Dyslexia isn't the easiest thing. Now, this is not me complaining... this is me wishing I had more control over my brain. But I don't. Life moves on.

This semester I REALLY need to pass my classes. I'm taking a vocal performance class, Piano class, Art History and Psychology. Those are subjects I am relatively capable of handling. However, I am aware that I will only pass with the grace of God. It's really hard for me to stay tuned in class and even harder to study at home (there is just no driving motivation).

I've just changed my major from music performance to Sociology. Social work, who knew? Okay, okay. Apparently allot of people knew before me, but that doesn't mean I was ready to come to terms with it until now. Anyhow, i'm learning that in order to receive the best from school, I need to give my best to... GOD. Ha, I caught you. You thought I was going to say "Give my best to my studies!" Nope, that is not what is required. God is the one who DOES have control over my mind, he does have the ability to grant me grace and the ability to remember more than I usually do. So, here's to giving God my best and not hoping, but having faith that I can do this.

In the mean time, I picked up some school supplies. Again, sometimes the "creativity" (if that's what you will kindly call it) in my brain... puzzles me.

 Some graph paper to take notes in my Psychology class,

 ^Music Staff notebook for my experiments in Piano,^

 A sketch book to take notes for Art History,

 Colored pens and markers to take all my notes with,

 A calendar, hoping that i'll actually remember important dates,

 A 1/4 In. headphone jack for Piano,

 and finally, a hair product that will make last minute "Gypsy" mornings a whole lot easier. 

Yeah, that's all for now. 

Have a great evening, 

Sincerely stressing out, 

-Jackie

Thrifted Curiosity: 1

So, after allot of youtube watching and blog reading I have been feeling quite inspired to go thrifting lately. Allot of people act like it's some sort of "hush-hush" subject, just because it's used clothes. I truly am indifferent. They're used, yes. But you wash them, dingbats! I just don't understand this supposed big taboo about the thrifting. It's cheap, it works, get over it.

With many local options (such as Goodwill, Volunteers of America, World Mission Thrift, St. Vincent DePaul and Hidden Treasures) I had quite the selection of places I wanted to go. I had made up my mind to take a bit of money out of my bank and see if I could make some good investments on clothing and accessories. I've heard that thrift shopping is the best way to find affordable vintage items, and THAT I was willing to work for.

Wednesday was my first excursion. I was able to attain 3 good cardigans, a new black jacket and 2 pairs of awesome earrings for under $13 (Rounding off to around $2 per item). Which, I consider to be a pretty good investment, if you ask me.

Today (Saturday) I went again with a friend and was able to find 4 t-shirts, a change purse, a clutch and a (fake) pearl necklace that was the perfect length for me. I'll be sure to post the pictures of the items I got today below. I got all 7 items for exactly $16 today, rounding out to just over $2 per item. Again, I would call that a good deal.

I will say that although goodwill is more expensive, I do like the fact that they have more fitting rooms and that they organize their stuff by size (which... is relative in thrift stores). Though, I like that Volunteers of America picks 2 tag colors weekly and sets a certain percentage discount to each color. Makes finding deals a whole lot more exciting.

So, that's all I have for now. Hopefully as time goes on I'll get some more interesting posts about FANTASTIC finds (that I'm hoping for). Pictures are below.... The one item I bought today that is not shown is just a plain white v-neck t-shirt.

 An awesome grey and white Led Zeppelin Tee - $2.99

"Grateful Dead" Tee - $2.99

 "It's a Spam-Dandy" Tee - $2.99

Metalic silver change purse - $0.59 

 Metallic Gold Clutch/Wallet - $2.00

(fake) Pearl Necklace - $0.99

Temple 619: Week 2

Not much has happened this past week. 

I went to the Doctor, that went well. I was on some various medications for various conditions and he has taken me off of everything for a month trial. I'll get blood work done before I go in again next month just to check how things are going, providing I stick to my 90day challenge I should be in the clear to stay off of my meds, which I would be VERY excited about! I hate taking medication, but I will if I have to. 

I bought a pedometer and I'm keeping track of my steps and miles. My doctor suggested aiming for 10,000 steps a  day. Yesterday I reached 10,400 at work alone (which is almost 5 miles worth of walking). Right now, the way my feet are yelling at me, I completely believe it was that much. 

School is getting stressful and I'm trying not to let it effect my inner peace. The Lord has promised good to me, through stress, through troubles, though adversity he has given me access to his abundant peace. Hopefully in the midst of all this crazy, CRAZY final school assignments I am able to remember that I have complete access to His supernatural peace. 

I'm trying so hard not to get sick. I'm pumping myself full of vitamins and i'm about to go to the store solely for orange juice. haha Working where I do and having almost the whole shelter sick, I KNOW I have been more than exposed to it. Besides who thinks "you are transporting illness to me right now!" when you're hugging a little kid who just doesn't understand what's going on around her? I don't. So, I know I've been exposed to colds, flu's, etc. I'm praying that my stubbornness alone will keep me well, at least until after school. I came home from work last night, not feeling the best. I'm thinking it's just because I was stressed and tired. 

The Lord has been revealing allot to me lately. Not in revelation style words. But, just placing thoughts in my mind that I know are him pushing me on to be all I'm meant to be. I've applied to Carnegie Mellon, Cincinnati University Conservatory, NYU - Nisch and I'm looking at more schools that would be far off dreams of majoring in musical theater. I'm waiting for my verification to register for an audition date for each school. 

Who knows what (IF anything) will come of these applications and possible auditions. I figured, what will it hurt?! I'm also going through the organizational stage of getting an audition ready for the Broadway Conservatory summer program. I'm about ready to ask some people around if they could help me prepare. For some reason, right now, I am more that willing to throw myself through the ringer to get somewhere with my dream. Blood, sweat and tears. They'll flow, but that's fine... I will run full pledged into the opportunities I see. I may run into a few doors as God closes them, but no one will ever get anywhere sitting on their butts. 

So, I guess that's all I really have to say right now. 

I really need to figure out why my thoughts always sound so jumbled. I dislike it allot. Blerg.

Oh well, for now I say goodbye.

-Jackie