Friday, June 24, 2011

Just A Little Rant About Self Image: Part 2

Okay, If you've not read part 1 to this you may want to take a few minutes to do this. I'll even make it super easy and give you a link to my own blog, which you are currently on. http://jackiepoole.blogspot.com/2011/06/just-little-rant-about-self-image.html Ahead of time, I want to apologize for both that post and this one. Something has been messed up with the html or something with the website and I am unable to add seperate paragraphs. When I write it, they're there and then they dissapear when I post. So, I apologize for the poor formatting. I'm trying to figure out how to fix it. So, in part one I talked to the girls about how verbalizing their dislikes about themselves is an extremely harmful act. Again, not to say having insecurities in self image is abnormal or negative, but talking about it constantly is. In the short time since I posted the rant I actually have received allot of feedback, which I am not at all used to. After some tough thinking I've decided to adress the men. That's right. If you're a male, this is written for you. Men, you play a large role in a woman's self confidence. If you have a mother, a sister, a lady you are dating or just female friends you are playing a part in their self image. Allot of people think that if they aren't insulting someone that their actions don't make a difference. Well, I'm sorry but this thought is quite incorrect. Everytime you talk to one of your girlfriends about how you think Selena Gomez is fantastic and why, this young lady you are with is thinking "Well, I don't measure up!" It has nothing to do with whether or not she is interested in you as more than a friend or if she thinks you're cute. It's just our built in need to compare ourselves with others who are veiwed as beautiful. It's unfortunate, but it's true. So gentlemen, when you are oogling, gandering... maybe even lusting after different women who are so called "Beautiful" you are sending a clear message to the women around you, whether or not you mean to. Say you're walking through the mall and you break contact with your date to look at the half (or perhaps less) dressed girl in the victoria's secret poster. Yeah, she see's that. She knows that you're looking at her body, it's inevitable and we've been taught to accept it as something that you (the men in our lives) cannot control. Though some women act like this doesn't bother them, it bothers me and I'm not gonna lie about it. I think you can control it. If I can learn to wear more modest clothing for your sake, do you think your could even consider controling your eyes for mine?! Yeah, I know that once you see certain things that thoughts become less controllable. However, I happen to know from experience that you can avoid some imagry to a degree. I have a guy friend (Of whom I am VERY proud to call friend and who gives me hope for young men regularly) who will deliberately look at something on the opposite side of the hallway anytime we walk by a victorias secret. We let him know when we've passed, and the conversation continues. It takes purposed thought and inentional avoidance. It doesn't just HAPPEN to not see this things. Locker room talk has become a disgusting habbit for many men as well. The Locker room is NOT where you get to talk about the uggliest chick around and whatnot. Recently a Pilot who was stupid enough to not realize his every word was being broadcasted to the control tower began talking about how he hated some people and the number of people he had slept with. He could have lost his job. It's not good for anyone and you need to be careful of your words anyways. "Actions are louder than words"... um, yeah but words still mean ALLOT! I regret to inform you that we have all become pawns in a game. Somehow we've forgotten that we're not meant to play the game the world sets up, but now we've been caught in the middle. The media of our nation WANT women to feel insecure, men to buy into the constant sexual imagry and prideful nature. All things that hurt relatinoships with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Everytime a man is caught taking a prolonged gander at these posters or commercails or everytime a girl looks at the latest clothing, cosmetic or popular item and she thinks "Wow, I NEED" that we are being played. We're being told we're not good enough if we don't. It's not okay. So, gentlemen: No, it is not at all your responsibility for us women to feel good about ourselves. However, there are 3 things you can do to improve the situation. 1) Show that you desire and are trying not to buy into the stupidity of modern sexual imagry. Yeah, we all get caught in the game - but effort means allot. 2) "Locker room talk" Just don't. 3) Take the time to make sure the women around you know that they are appreciated. It doesn't need to be a physical compliment. Let your mom know you appreciate her seeking God while raising you. Tell your girlfriend that you love the weird jokes she makes. Tell your friends that they are really good at something they love to do. Don't lie, we know when you're lying. So, I guess this is really all I have to say about this for now. It might be a little miscombobulated when it comes to organization but it was on my mind. So, I thought i'd post it. Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Just a little rant about self image: Part 1

You know what drives me nuts? Complaining. Oh, but not just any type of complaining. This particular type of complaining is based from a self conscience mindset. I HATE this type of complaining. To put it politely (possibly the only time I will be polite in this post), these people truly put the bee in my bonnet. Okay, so here it is: Stop talking about how you dislike yourself. EVERY girl has something she dislikes about herself. Every model, every actress, every girl in junior high, highschool and sometimes even kindergarden, even the girl you use as your example has insecurities. "Oh, I wish I looked more like..." you can fill in that blank with whomever you want, but if you asked them if there was something they would change about themselves, I gauruntee you no one would reply with "HECK NO, I'm flipping fantastic!" I won't lie.Some of these amazingly fit bodies we idolize have things they SHOULD be changing. Britney spears should stop smoking before she gets yet another case of laringitis and eventually loses both her physical apeal to nicotiene stains around her mouth and fingers and her voice to the loss of a lung. Heidi klum should stop prancing around in high heels and lingerie before she gives herself chronic or perminent back conditions and is no longer able to model for victoria's secret due to the fact that certain "advantages" of hers are no longer able to be propped up like the angel she is often protrayed to be. We all have things we should want to change about ourselves. Like our selfish, carnal nature. We should want to be like christ, not another person. When I'm around a girl whose size is in the single digits and I hear "I feel fat!" I just want to look them in the eyes and ask "So, what does this make you think of ME?!" Ugh. There is just SO much wrong with talking about your insecurities. Okay, now this may sound somewhat hipocritical... but you've made it far into my post, if you've not screamed at the computer yet I would beg you to read through my hypocrisy and also read my explanation. I too struggle with insecurities. RARELY will you hear my voice them. To prove I am human, I'll share just a few. I do not like my body, any part really. My physical appearance is NOTHING like I wish it were. I HATE my singing voice, that's right everybody; I, the singer, dislike my own voice to the enth degree and back. You WILL hear me say "UGH, I wish I could sing like that!" So, yes. Like any other human being there are things I am insecure of. I may seem confident, but this is exactly what I want you to believe. When you voice your insecurities in a group setting, rarely is your comment returned with "No. You were made in the image of God and although you have imperfections, it was the way you were created and intended to be. For everything God has a purpose." Instead you WILL hear "Oh, I know exactly how you feel! I hate..." Wow, okay. This is not encouraging. You need the first response, you need to be told why you're beautiful. Words have INCREDIBLE power. Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat it's fruits." So, you speak poorly of yourself and what is bound to follow? A poor self image, an incorrect mental depiction of the glorious and wonderful person God has created you to be. I'm not saying you have to be happy with everything about yourself. But you don't need to talk about them. It's making your own opinion of yourself worse and it's making most of those (particularly any gentlemen around and/or ME) VERY uncomfortable. In my life, there are so many gorgeous women, some older, younger or right around my age who I wish to emulate for their bold courage, strong faith or incredible testimony. Unfortunately for generations before me and my own, this world has not produced many women whom I can look up to for their confidence in self or self appearance. Having a good self image is always taught and spewed out. But, who listens?! Apparently, not enough women around. All in all, you need to realize that your imperfections make you who you are, they make you unique and in every case i've seen they make you more beautiful than you would be without them. STOP COMPLAINING, God doesn't make mistakes and he did happen to create you! I don't really know what else to say, it is what it is. Self confidence is something that comes with time and experience. But talking poorly about yourself is a bad habbit that will do worse things to you than a crack addiction or alchoholism. Think about the poison your spitting out with your words, because those thoughts and words came from within you. Just a thought. With this, I end.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Something I should name sometime in the near future.

{{ I don't know what to say about this piece. If you have questions, just leave a comment. This piece has NO name yet... I may never name it. :) }} ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Living with the terror that comes from facing your past mistakes. Constantly being drawn into the masquerade of health, when reality is that the body of our friendship dies. There is a reason I feel regret and a purpose for calling my past a mistake. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Not a day goes by where I do not encounter the need to draw my sword and whisper softly our tale into the ears of the eager unbelieving. No intentions of fighting you, only to rip the veil that hides the darkness within you that I feel unstable for having seen. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My heart beckons for your approvals, as my mind insistently reminds me to make it on my own. Even though it's been tainted and broken, I present my life for your smile of contentment or absolute disowning. It seems as though the painful struggle of forgiving and acting okay was just expected from me, so I have nothing else I know to offer. --------------------------------------------------------------------- You back me into corners, your harsh words draw blood, you push each and every button. Why do I run to you when my enemies are armed. What tricked me into trusting you again? On my worst days you make me laugh then instantly blindside me with your jealousy, disgust, anger and out of proportion, emotionless romantics. It's you and only you who understands but never truly knows. YOU are the source of so much of this constantly flowing joy and weakness. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You had me at your beckoning disposal, you played with the thought of having me in the palm of your immature yet steady hands until your senseless romances had lost their creativity and you simply became bored. I was thrown out of the way for a better chance at your own insecure masculine display. Though you may refuse to see the wound, things are still healing. I'm not angry, just so utterly confused by your actions and words. I've learned to expect nothing from you. I shall sit here, healing, waiting for you to finally realize that we have more to fix. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Confusion, peace, inner war, innocence, diabolical, insecure and confident. All it takes is an hour next to you and my numb life awakens to feel everything I had forgotten. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------